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What A Pirate Would Do is a song from All Hail King Julian.

Lyrics[]

Regular version[]

[King Julian]
Gather round, me hearties
I've questions to propose
On just exactly what it's like to be captain of you bros
I've heard so many stories
Most crazy and spectacular
And of course, I'm familiar with your colourful vernacular
But how do I decipher the stories from the true?
Or to put it more simply, what exactly do pirates do?
[Captain Ethan]
What do we do, what do we do?
Oh, so many answers
Boys, give him a few about what we do
[Captain Ethan's crew]
Well, we spit in public
Act like dopes
And only stop to watch our soaps
We're into terror and velvet pants
And if you see us coming
You'll pee in your—
[King Julian]
(spoken) Ew, is that really what pirates do?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
Of all the things we know, we know
And every question true
This is what a pirate would do, do, do
This is what a pirate would do
[King Julian]
(spoken) Hmmm... What if you saw a tiny kitten up in a tree?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
We'd cut the tree down and throw it in a stew
Slurp yo its giblets and chew, chew, chew
[King Julian]
(spoken) Right. What about a regal lady? Too bony for you to eat?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
We'd cut off her hair and use it for bait
Throw her in the brig with the other dead weight
[King Julian]
(spoken) What about bathing
[Captain Ethan's crew]
That is for babies
[King Julian]
(spoken) What if you're dirty?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
Better for scabies
[King Julian]
(spoken) Guys, ew! Is that really what pirates do?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
Of all the things we know, we know
And every question true
This is what a pirate would do, do, do
This is what a pirate would do
[Lil' Arms McGee]
I'm a pirate! P-I-R-A-T-E
And I'm stinky! S-T-I-N-K-Y
Got lots of stress! S-T-R-E-S-S
'Cause I am body conscious! C-O-N-S-C...
(spoken) I don't know how to spell the rest
[King Julian]
Well, of all the things I now know
And every question true
If this is what pirates would do, do, do
This is what pirates would do
Then I guess the answer to your question is
When do I make my debut?
[Captain Ethan's crew]
Whoo-hoo!
Of all the things we know, we know
And every question true
This is what a pirate would do, do, do
This is what a pirate would do
[King Julian]
(holds the key on "Do" then realises. spoken) What? Too long?

Trivia[]

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