What A Pirate Would Do is a song from All Hail King Julian.
Lyrics[]
Regular version[]
- [King Julian]
- Gather round, me hearties
- I've questions to propose
- On just exactly what it's like to be captain of you bros
- I've heard so many stories
- Most crazy and spectacular
- And of course, I'm familiar with your colourful vernacular
- But how do I decipher the stories from the true?
- Or to put it more simply, what exactly do pirates do?
- [Captain Ethan]
- What do we do, what do we do?
- Oh, so many answers
- Boys, give him a few about what we do
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- Well, we spit in public
- Act like dopes
- And only stop to watch our soaps
- We're into terror and velvet pants
- And if you see us coming
- You'll pee in your—
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) Ew, is that really what pirates do?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- Of all the things we know, we know
- And every question true
- This is what a pirate would do, do, do
- This is what a pirate would do
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) Hmmm... What if you saw a tiny kitten up in a tree?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- We'd cut the tree down and throw it in a stew
- Slurp yo its giblets and chew, chew, chew
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) Right. What about a regal lady? Too bony for you to eat?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- We'd cut off her hair and use it for bait
- Throw her in the brig with the other dead weight
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) What about bathing
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- That is for babies
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) What if you're dirty?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- Better for scabies
- [King Julian]
- (spoken) Guys, ew! Is that really what pirates do?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- Of all the things we know, we know
- And every question true
- This is what a pirate would do, do, do
- This is what a pirate would do
- [Lil' Arms McGee]
- I'm a pirate! P-I-R-A-T-E
- And I'm stinky! S-T-I-N-K-Y
- Got lots of stress! S-T-R-E-S-S
- 'Cause I am body conscious! C-O-N-S-C...
- (spoken) I don't know how to spell the rest
- [King Julian]
- Well, of all the things I now know
- And every question true
- If this is what pirates would do, do, do
- This is what pirates would do
- Then I guess the answer to your question is
- When do I make my debut?
- [Captain Ethan's crew]
- Whoo-hoo!
- Of all the things we know, we know
- And every question true
- This is what a pirate would do, do, do
- This is what a pirate would do
- [King Julian]
- (holds the key on "Do" then realises. spoken) What? Too long?