|Season 1, Episode 7b|
|Written by||LegoKyle14 & Magnom47|
Lights! Camera! Moo!/Transcript
(At the Barnyard, Peck is leading a Yoga class)
- Peck: Now remember, the key to yoga is to be calm, centered and completely relaxed.
(A chicken laid an egg)
- Chicken: Oh, that's awkward.
(Duke cracked his back)
- Duke: That ain't good.
(Pig also laid an egg.)
- Pig: That's really awkward.
- Tigger: How's that even possible.
- Sunset Shimmer: How can something so relaxing a be so painful.
- Peck: Now, let's...
(Otis kicks through a door and flies Peck with good news)
- Otis: Drop everything people. Stumpity Joe is coming to town. Stumpity Joe is coming to town!
- Sunset Shimmer: No way, I love Stumpity Joe!
- Pig: Oh, that's great.
(Everyone is surprised and Pig lays another egg)
- Pig: Sorry, I got excited.
- Peck: Ah, you know Otis, I was in the middle of teaching.
- Otis: Really? Cause i was in middle of telling everyone that Stumpity Joe is coming to town!
(Otis hits Peck with a door)
- Otis: Let's see. Will need this, this, that, this...
- Abby: I dont get Otis. Who's Stumpity Joe anyway?
- Otis: (Shocked) What?
- Bessie: Oh boy. Get comfy, everybody. This may take awhile.
- Otis: Ah, he's only the greatest country star in the universe. Perphaps you heard of Stand by your horse? Cold Miner Dentist?
- Pip: And the new hit that rocking up the charts...
- Sunset Shimmer: Now I destroy your property?
- Pip: No, know it?
- Otis: Pip, six-string me.
(Pip starts playing a gutair)
Well!! You broke my heart, So I burn down your farm.
You make me cry, so I blew the place sky high.
You knock me down, made a fool out me.
But i feel better now that destory you Property.
- Rabbit: Amazing!
- Timmy Turner: Awesome!
- Otis: Joe's in town to shoot a music video and he need animal and kids extras.
(Everyone excited except Bessie)
- Pip: If you want to be on the auditicon tape, meet us in the meadow ASAP.
- Otis: For the love of heaven and rice, Stumpity Joe is coming!
- Bessie: As if we every want to be in his stupid video?
- Bessie: I guess stupid is cautious.
- Pig: Hey, Otis, don't I need a contract for this?
- Pip: Why, so you cant eat it?
- Pig: Oh, because i'm a pig? Well, that's insulting.
- Timmy Turner: You can mostly eat anything.
- Pig: What flavors do they come in?
- Rabbit: (Moans)
- Pip: Uh-oh, Farmer!
(Everyone hid while the farmer was working)
- Otis: What? What he's still doing out there. I need that tractor the audition tape.
- Abby: It's his bissiest time of year, Otis. He has to bring the crops in for the big farmers market.
- Otis: Well maybe I can find a way to speed things up a little.
- Sunset Shimmer: I have a bad feeling about this.
- Bessie: Hold up "cow-zilla". Don’t mess with the farmer while he's bringing in the crops. If they dont come in, this place goes out of business and we all have to get real jobs.
- Freddy: (nervously) Real Jobs?
(Freddy imagines his job at a coffee shop)
(Everyone getting nervous)
- Abby: I don't want get a real job. Don't make me do it, Otis.
- Pig: Yeah, Otis, maybe we should let the Farmer keep working. Otis?
- Otis: Great news, guys. I set the tracker to super-fast, so the Farmer'll be done in no time.
(The farmer started the tractor and it went crazy it ran through the barn and crashed into a stump)
- Farmer: I'm alive.
- Pip: Not good.
(the farmer landed on the ground)
- Farmer: (offscreen) Tractor go boom.
- Winnie the Pooh: This cant be good
- Piglet: Oh dear!
- Tigger: Uh-oh!
(The farmer was taken to the hospital)
- Otis: This is terrible. What have I done?
- Bessie: Well, let's review: You interrupted Peck's yoga class, did a lame Stumpity Joe impression and, oh, right, YOU BROKE THE FARMER!!!!
- Duke: Good news, everyone. The paramedics says the Farmer'll be better in a week.
- Otis: Yes! Phew! Well, I guess all's well thats ends well, Huh, guys?
- Pig: But what about the Farmers market. He'll never get the crops in now.
- Peck: We're gonna lose our home.
- Otis: Ok, ok, don't worry, everyone. The farm is not going under, and here's why: We're gonna bring the crops in ourselves.
- Tigger: (gasps and gibbers) What!?!
- Piglet: What!?!?
- Winnie the Pooh: What!?!
- Rabbit: What!?!?
- Eeyore: Huh?
- Timmy Turner: WHAT?!?
- Cosmo and Wanda: What!?!
- Sunset Shimmer: Wait, What?!
- Freddy: Huh? Yeah, right, you're funny.
- Duke: Otis, that's crazy talk. What do we know about farming?
- Otis: What do you mean, what do we know about? We live on a farm. We got a natural instinct for this kind of thing.
- Pig: Right! We'll work on instinct. I'll start vaccuming the fields.
- Otis: Good.
- Peck: I'll make some fertilizer!
- Freddy: I form a conga line!
(A conga line with everyone shouting "We're all going farming")
- Otis: That's the spirit, people.
- Pip: We're in a lot a trouble, aren't we?
- Otis: Yeah, a lot of trouble.
(Abby and Bessie scared of the milk machine)
- Abby: You go first!
- Bessie: No Way, you go first!
(Otis Walks in)
- Otis: How are we doing on the milk, gals? What? (Checks the bucket to see no milk) What gives, we should be snorkeling in milk by now.
- Sunset Shimmer: The girls are too scared to do it.
- Bessie: Look, no one but the farmer is clamping any milk dohicky to my milk giving areas.
- Otis: Bessie, my bashful Bovine, it couldn't be safer. Here, let me demonstrate. (Putting the machine to his utters) Put these on.
- Pip: Uh, Otis...that's not how it looks in the instructions.
- Otis: Relax. I seen the farmer do this a hundred times. Ok, turn it on. Turn it on.
- Pip: Ok, you're the boss.
(Pip turns the dial to medium)
- Otis: Hmm-mm, Oh it's quite pleasant actually, like a gentle tug. Ok, slightly less gentle now. (started screaming) MY UTTERS ARE ON FIRE!!!!
- Pip: Higher? You got it.
(Pip turns the dial to full blast)
(Otis is in a lot of pain)
- Otis: TURN IT OFF!!!!
(Otis lies on the floor skinny and Bessie mocks him)
- Bessie: (laughs) That is one funny milking machine.
- Sunset Shimmer: Otis, are you ok?
- Otis: Guys, i'm gonna need some private Time. (Walks away on the floor)
(At the cornfield)
- Otis: Ok guys, I know it looks like a lot of corn. But we can bring it if we all work together.
- Abby: That's crazy, Otis. We don't even have a tractor.
- Otis: No. We got something better.
- Freddie: A tractor?
- Otis: No. This jamming corn harvesting music I downloaded off the internet. Now, let's get shucking!
(Music playing and everyone is putting corn into the wagon. Pig started to eat some of the corn)
(Later the evening)
- Otis: We did it. We brought in the entire crop.
- Sunset Shimmer: Finally.
- Pip: Man, I never thought that all that corn would fit into that little cart.
- Otis: Yeah, I never thought that.... What the heck is that?
(The wagon collapse, and Pig was stuffed)
- Otis: PIG!!!!
- Pig: Otis, strange dream: Music... corn everywhere. I don't feel well.
- Freddy: It probably isn't digested yet. We can still use it. Give us back our corn, you pig corn gobbling blimp!
(Otis is packing up)
- Pip: Otis! Come quick! The... What are you doing?
- Otis: Running off to join the rodeo. Figure I might turn myself into a ropen steer and you know, send back whatever money I can to paid of the farm.
- Pip: You know what else can pay off the farm? The gigallions of eggs the hens are laying right now!
- Otis: As we say in the rodeo, YEE-YAH!
(At the henhouse)
- Otis: All right, ladies. Way to go!
- Hen: Everyone help, Otis. They mixed us up a energy drink that really got us laying.
- Bessie: Fresh batch coming up.
- Otis: (picks up egg) See, now this is what we do when we work to together, people. Now that's what I called a grade A... (egg explodes) UM...what did you put exactly in the energy drink?
- Bessie: Yogurt.
- Peck: Vitamins.
- Winnie the Pooh: A little honey.
- Abby: Love.
- Otis: And?
- Cosmo and Freddy: (holds a stick of dynamite) And Pepper!
- Otis: (grabs the stick of dynamite from Freddy) Those aren't pepper shakers. That's dynamite!
- Pip: We can still sell them. Whose gonna know? (An egg explodeds in his face)
- Pig: Yeah, they taste pretty good. (He eats one and it exploded)
- Otis: Will you quit playing with them!?!?
- Pig: (eats another one and explodes) Sorry.
- Otis: Just leave them alone!
(Peck throws a egg into the others and all the eggs started to explode)
- Bessie: This is all Otis' fault!
- Abby: What about Pig? He ate all the corn!
- Pig: Wouldn't have matter if you and Bessie I given more milk!
- Pip: I blame Freddy and Cosmo!
- Freddy: We blame the literal media!
(Everyone is talking at each other til the sheeps have appeared)
- Sleep 1#: Otis, Otis. I just saw Stumpity Joe's Trailer.
- Otis: Stumpity Joe's here?
- Sunset Shimmer: Where is he?
- Sheep 2#: His trailer's gonna go right pass the farm.
- Sheep 3#: Who cares? His musical motif is highly over rated.
- Sheep 4#: I concur. His artistic sensibilities has been destroyed by fame
- Bessie: Would someone shut those sheep up?
- Otis: Wait a minute! Destroy, that's it! Cosmo, Freddy, show me where you the dynamite.
(They show Otis the dynamite)
- Otis: Perfect!
- Pip: Poor Otis.
- Wanda: He's been driving mad by failure.
- Timmy Turner: Yep.
- Pig: And the shame. Don't the shame.
(As Otis sets the dynamite up, he was about to pull down the trigger...)
- Bessie: Hey, Beef-for-Brain, no way we're gonna let' you blow up the farm!
- Otis: Okay but can I say one thing?
- Bessie: What?
- Otis: FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
(He pulled the trigger...)
- Pip: RUN!!
(And the Barnyard had exploded which, near a bus, Joe then saw the explosion far away)
- Joe: (offscreen) Whoa, nelly! Stop the bus.
(The bus then arrived as Joe steps out of the bus and looks at the barn)
- Joe: We founded it, fellas! The perfect backdrop for my new music video, "You Broke My Heart, So I Blew Up Your Farm".
- Otis: (disguised) A location shoot, eh? Well, (clears his throat) as the owner of this here farm, I reckon you have to make it worth my wilds.
- Joe: Sure thing, pink snotted farmer. Just sign this contract and I'll give to 12 bags of money.
- Pig: (disguised) Hold on. Let me see that contract. (grabs the contract and speed reads) Looks good to me. (eats it) Mmm, that’s a good contract.
- Otis: (disguised) Our armed farmer treny said its ok, so you just yourself a deal.
- Joe: Yee-hah! Hey farmer, we need some critters. Got any animules or kids who might want to be in a musical video?
- Otis: If by animals, you mean people in costumes who gives the appearance of being walking talking animals but aren't because everyone knows that's impossible. YES!!
(Music Started playing)
Well!! You broke my heart, So I burn down your farm. You make me cry, so I blew the place sky high. You knock me down, made a fool out me.
But I feel better now that destroy you property. It's all in pieces.
[Pip and Peck]
Yes, in pieces
[Tigger and Sunset Shimmer]
It's all in pieces
Yes in pieces
[Cosmo and Wanda]
Now that I destroy your property
(Than The Farmer watching the music video)
- Farmer: Singing farm animals. Look at that. Th-that's ridicoulous.
Now your stuff's all over the place. I see a tractor traveling through SPACE....
(Peck scream like nuts)
- Otis: Here's a little bit of ear gravy, for ya.
(Sunset Shimmer and Evert starting playing)
In little pieces
[Pip and Peck]
Yes, in pieces
[Tigger and Sunset Shimmer]
Ii's all in pieces
Yes in pieces
[Cosmo and Wanda]
Now that I destroy your property!
(Songs end and Barnyard exporde again)
- Joe: They blow up real good!