Bureaucrat Song01:47

Bureaucrat Song

The Bureaucrat Song is a song performed by Hermes Conrad, LaBarbara Conrad, Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Leela, Bender and Morgan Proctor in How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back.


Hermes: When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town

with a foot and a half of water

Everyone was alright, but I cried all night

It blew my alphabet blocks out of order

And they said this boy’s born to be a bureaucrat

Born to be all obsessive and snotty

I made my friends and relations file long applications

To get into my tenth birthday party.

LaBarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro.

Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smilin'

LaBarbara: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks

Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filin'!


We didn't choose to be bureaucrats

No, that's what Almighty Jah made us

We'd treat people like swine and make them stand in line

Even if nobody paid us

They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats

They say we're anal, compulsive and weird

But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love

Even if it's not a good idea


Zoidberg: They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon

Farnsworth: They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter

Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye

Bender: I am Bender please insert girder

Hermes: Everybody sing Jamaica!

All: Jamaica!

Hermes: Just the bureaucrats - Jamaica!

Bureaucrats: Jamaica!

Hermes: The grade nineteens!

Morgan Proctor: ... Jamaica.

Hermes: Sing me home,

When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love

Even if it's not a good idea!

Bender: I am Bender baby, please insert liquor!


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