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Chez Pig
Season 1, Episode 3a
Chez Pip Logo
Written by LegoKyle14 & Magmon47
Directed by LegoKyle14
Episode guide
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Chez Pig is 5th episode from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(Everyone sitting on for brunch and Otis is telling a joke)

  • Otis: So he says to the farmer " Hey if your hand are running colder, you should be milking me into a sugar cone"!

(Everyone broke out laughing)

(Freddy squirt milk out of his nose)

  • Freddy: Oh when I gonna learn not to drink milk when you tell us stories, Otis.
  • Pip: Soon I hope.
  • Rabbit: Same her.
  • Otis: Alright,people. And now a toast. Thou I am not rich and famous, I'm one lucky guy. Cause we're all here together...
  • Everyone: Now let's eat some pie! Pie, pie,pie,pie,pie!

(Pig comes in with pie)

  • Pig: Did someone say "pie"?

(Everyone cheering)

  • Pig: Guys. A little respect for the lady that made this possible. (pulls out a picture) Grammy Pig. Sunday brunch wouldn't be the same without your truffle pie.
  • Everyone: Thank you, Grammy Pig.
  • Otis: Can we start eating now?
  • Pig: Knock yourself out!

(Everyone started eating)

  • Sunset Shimmer: This pie is delicious
  • Timmy: You said it.
  • Cosmo: This is better than Wanda's coking.
  • Pooh: Especially with honey on top.
  • Freddy: This pie is so good, its making me hallucinate.
  • Peck: Oh yeah, what do you see?
  • Freddy: A car heading straight for us.
  • Rabbit: That is a real car! Quick hide!

(Everyone scream and hid)

(The pizza dudes smelled the Pies)

  • Pizza Dude 1: Dude, that smell of awesomeness is like coming from these pies.
  • Pizza Dude 2: Dude, pie me!
  • Pizza Dude 1: Here man this outta cover it.(gives money) Dude, I think the cashier is invisible.
  • Pizza Dude 2: Awesome.He could be anywhere,man. Let's us do a custom one for Dr.Invisbo.

(The dudes did a laugh and leaves the money)

  • Otis: Guys...Town meeting...now.

(cut to barnyard)

  • Otis: So, I say we convert the barn into resturant for one night, sell Pig's pies to humans and rake in the cash!

(Everyone in a agreement)

  • Duke: I gotta admit, I have my eye on a vibrated doggie bed!
  • Freddy: I can have a solid gold panic room.
  • Sunset Shimmer: I can buy that new guitar.
  • Timmy: I can buy lot of Chin's comic Books.
  • Pooh: I can buy more honey.
  • Cosmo: I have my eye on those pants with hot meat in em.
  • Abby: Or we could save the money for a rainy day.

(Everyone in depression)

  • Abby: Ooh, ooh, or buy a hot tub!

(Everyone excited)

  • Wanda: Now you talking!
  • Pig: I don't know Otis. I don't sure if Grammy want me to sell her pies for money.

(Everyone shouting hot tub)

  • Pig: Well, uh... I'd be in full control of the kitchen and it would have to be done very tastefully.
  • Otis: Piglington, you have my solemn pledge that this new restaurant will be the height of good taste.

(Cut the Barn into a Restaurant)

  • Otis: Welcome to Farmer Otis's Truffle Bucket.

(They should the hold restaurant)

  • Otis: There you go. Eh, eh, eh, no touching the Animal Costumes.
  • Bessie: Three Truffle Pies...
  • Women: And I'd like a side salad.
  • Bessie: Yeah, well, I'd like a cruise to Barbados. But that's not happening either.

(Abby and Sunset Shimmer jump on the table)

  • Abby and Sunset Shimmer: Howdy, partners!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Who's thirsty?
  • Abby: Toss those glasses in the air

(Abby and Sunset Shimmer pour milk in the glasses)

  • Man: Wow, how she able shoot so well in that bulky costume?
  • Sunset Shimmer: Well she a real talking cow.

(The family laughs)

Freddy Cosmo and Peck: We heard it's your birthday so...

[Freddy]

It's your birthday, make a mess...

[Peck]

It's your birthday, where a dress.

[Cosmo]

It's your birthday you look swell

[Peck]

Its your birthday, tip us well

(In the kitchen)

  • Bessie: Order up, six more pies!
  • Tigger: You got it! Six more pies, Pig!
  • Pig: Duke and Wanda, I need six more ingredients for vat three! Lets go!

(Duke hands Pig a radish)

  • Pig: No no no, I said vat three!
  • Duke: You know, it might be a tad easier if we wasn't blindfolded
  • Wanda: Yeah why cant we look
  • Pig: I told you guys, I cant debouched Grammy secret ingredient.

(The three moves to a pot)

  • Timmy: This feels kind of hot.
  • Wanda: More like boiling.
  • Duke: This is boiling water isn't it?
  • Pooh: Yep.

(Wanda Duke and Timmy screamed that wakes the farmer)

  • Farmer: What in the name of potatoes?

(Pip and Piglet are in the vending machine)

  • Pip: To the left. Left!
  • Piglet: Not on the knife set.
  • Pip: All right, Toy binoculars. That's only kind of lame.
  • (Piglet looks through the binocular and sees the farmer coming)
  • Piglet: Uh-oh. We have a problem.
  • Pip: Yep. (Whistles) Farmer!

(Otis acts quickly)

  • Otis: Excuse me, distinguished guests can I have everyone attention? It's that special time at the truffle bucket play our favorite game.

[Workers]

All around the truffle cafe, the people don't except it,

they turn their head for a lightly surprise, pop...

(Otis catapulted the customers)

[Workers]

They're ejected.

(They cleaned up and when the farmer came it there was nothing)

  • Farmer: Huh, what's this pie tin doing here?

(The farmer went back into the house)

  • Pooh: He's gone!

(Otis opens up the restaurant again)

  • Otis: welcome back, folks. Hey,who's hungry after a long break? That got the blood flowing.
  • Man: My collarbone's been separated, but... What a hilarious anecdote this'll make.

The Middle

(The Next Morning)

  • Otis: Lincoln, Hamilton, Lincoln... Oh-ho, hello, Mr. Franklin. Hey, guys, this is enough for a hot tub and a Platinum Hoof Scraper.
  • Timmy: So, how much money we had here?
  • Cosmo: $10,100,346.
  • Wanda: Wow, Cosmo. I can't beleive it that you know that.
  • Pooh: How you know that?
  • Cosmo: I love monkeys!
  • Wanda: And we're back.
  • Eeyore: It figures.
  • Otis: That's right answer. That means we'll buy anything we want.
  • Pig: Oh, that's great, now we can close the restaurant.
  • Otis: Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean close the restaurant? What have you been bathing in failure juice?
  • Pig: Well wasn't that the plan?
  • Otis: The only plan we need is where we going to put the 14 surround sound home theater after we haul in more greens!
  • Pip: Yeah, don't forget the highlight court.
  • Duke: And the burn treatment center.
  • Sunset Shimmer: And my new guitar.
  • Cosmo: And my meat pockets.
  • Otis: Hoo-Hoo, the sky the limit. Then we buy the sky and use it as advertising space!

(Everyone cheering)

(Pig feeling a little guilty)

  • Sunset Shimmer: You okay, Pig?
  • Pig: What, yeah I'm fine.
  • Tigger: Poor Pig.

(Pops a Time card)

  • Narrator: 3 weeks later....

(That morning)

  • Otis: Oh, hey, guys, guys, guys, listen up, gather 'round. I have amazing news.
  • Pig: Oh, excuse me, I'd like to say something first.
  • Otis: Oh, yeah, yeah, just one second, Pig, one second.
  • Pig: No, no, this is more important.
  • Otis: Oh, Pig, please. I just got a letter saying The Max Fripplehoot is coming here tonight.

(Everyone was surprised)

Peck: The founder of J.T. Fripplehoots?!

Freddy: I love there them song!

[Freddy]

It's your birthday make a mess, it's your birth....

  • Freddy: The birthday song has driven other songs from my brain!
  • Cosmo: I can't this song anymore! That's why I'm singing my favorite song of all time.
  • Wanda: Please isn't the "The Tractor Song"?

[Cosmo]

Tractor, better a actor,

Tractor, it's ladit to you.

  • Wanda: (Sighs)
  • Timmy: Well, that's worst entertainment of my life.
  • Pig: Otis, I think you should hear what....
  • Otis: One second, Fripplehoot says if our pie is as good as he heard, he will by the recipe for a million bagillion dollars!

(Everyone was surprised)

  • Tigger: We're gonna be rich!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Yep.
  • Pig: Otis, can I talk now?
  • Otis: Yeah, all you, buddy.
  • Pig: Thank you so much. Everyone I like you all to know, how can I put this? I quit.
  • Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT?!
  • Piglet: What?!
  • Pooh: What?!
  • Rabbit: What?!
  • Eeyore: Huh?!
  • Timmy: WHAT?!?
  • Cosmo & Wanda: WHAT?!?

(Everyone gasping)

  • Otis: You can't quit, what do you mean quit?
  • Pig: Oh, look, Grammy's Pies used to be about friendship and all the good times we had together. Now it's all about money, money, money, what can I buy, what can I buy?
  • Otis: And?
  • Pig: Well, look around. Duke's a mummy dog, Freddy and Cosmo are a complete whack job...
  • Freddy and Cosmo: Birthday!
  • Pig: The restaurant is sucking the fun of our lives, you know? And I'm through with it, I'm gone, good-bye.

(Pig leaves)

  • Abby: Well,so much for buying my own Italian soccer team.
  • Pip: Pig ruined everything.

(Everyone was complaining)

  • Cosmo and Freddy: Birthday!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Maybe Pig was right.
  • Tigger: He was a little upset.
  • Otis: Guys, we don't need Pig. I'll tell you what, I'll make the pies, ok? I mean come on, its pie how hard could it be?

(Otis Duke Wanda and Timmy are in the kitchen)

  • Otis: Ok guys, your making pies the whole time with Pig. Show me how you did it?
  • Duke: You got it buddy.
  • Wanda and Timmy: We're on it!
  • Duke: First we put in a little of this.

(Hands Otis a wrench)

  • Otis: A pipe wrench?
  • Duke: Trust me, we have very finely toned senses.
  • Otis: All right, Pipe wrench it, keep it coming.
  • Timmy: Here you go.
  • Wanda: Take this.
  • Timmy: Take that.
  • Wanda: And this.

(Wanda accidentally picks up Pip)

  • Pip: (Clears Throat)
  • Wanda: Sorry.

The Ending

(Later that night, Fripplehoot just come in early and enter the Barn)

  • Peck: Fripplehoot, he's early.
  • Piglet: Oh no, what we're gonna do?
  • Peck: Looks like we better stall him.
  • Tigger: Good idea.
  • Bessie: Hey, Fripplehead, come on in. You want a booster chair for your wallet?
  • Pooh: We got good choices of a color booster chair?
  • Firpplehoot: What, no, no. Just bring me this pie of yours, and be quick about it.

(Than Abby and Sunset Shimmer just comes in)

  • Abby and Sunset Shimmer: Howdy, partner...
  • Firpplehoot: Get your hooves off the table.
  • Abby: Can do.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Find.

(Than Freddy, Peck and Cosmo just comes in)

[Freddy]

It's your birthday, make a mess...

[Peck]

It's your birthday, where a dress.

(Than Cosmo sing his song)

[Cosmo]

Tractor, better a actor,

Tractor, it's ladit to you.

  • Fripplehoot: Look, it is not my birthday, I don't like Tractor, and marionettes give me the creeps. Now, bring me my pie!

(In to the Kitchen)

  • Pip: Guys, Fripplehoot's here. We can't stall him no more.

(the pie is done)

  • Otis: We've got pie, we've got pie.
  • Timmy and Wanda: TOD-DA!!!
  • Pip: Hoo, that's the ugliest thing I ever pinned all my hopes and dreams on.

(Cut to Fripplehoot)

  • Otis: Um, so, ok, thing about the pie...
  • Timmy: It usually looks awesomer than this...
  • Wanda: But it sort of got, um....
  • Fripplehoot: Look at my mouth. Why it talking to you three when it should be eating?

(when Otis put the pie down, he's started taking a bit, everyone it's looking, when Pig come in)

  • Pig: WAIT!

(He throw that pie away, and than he give him he's)

  • Pig: Try this one.
  • Otis: Pig, are you sure?
  • Pig: Who am I to stand in the way of everyone's dream?

(Than he like it)

  • Fripplehoot: Mmm. Hot holy heat-balls. That's the finest bit of food I've ever taken. I'll give you a million bajillion dollars for the recipe.
  • Otis: You, sir, have a deal.

(Than he bring up a contract)

  • Fripplehoot: Sign this, we're good to go.

(Pig Sobbing)

  • Piglet: What was that?
  • Tigger: Sound like a crying noice?
  • Sunset Shimmer: No that's just Pig crying.
  • Otis: Yeah, it's sound like Pig... Oh... Pig, come, what... Ok, look on the bright side, all right?
  • Pooh: Yeah, you can still make the pies for us.
  • Fripplehoot: Uh, that's a big negatory, bear. You see, once he sign this contract, the recipe is mine. You can never make these pies again.
  • Otis: Never make pies again?

(They in fancie when all about pie)

  • Fripplehoot: Hey, what in the name of canned ham are you all staring into space for?
  • Otis: Sorry, Firpplehoot, the pie's not for sale.

(all gasp)

  • Fripplehoot: What the...?
  • Otis: We have something that's worth more than a million bajillion dollars.
  • Fripplehoot: A zillion krajillion dollars?
  • Otis: No, our Sunday Pie Brunches.
  • Tigger: Yeah, Money Guy. We'll never give them up for anything.
  • Rabbit: That's right.
  • Fripplehoot: Why, I... This is outrageous. You'll hear from my lawyers. And by the way, those are the ugliest Animal Costumes I've ever... (than Otis's rejecked him) SEEN...!

(the next Morning)

  • Pip: This is outrageous. Of all the yikkity yakkity, blah blah blah blah, Fripplehoot."

(Freddy squirt milk out of his nose, again)

(All laughing)

  • Abby: What you did was mighty fine, Otis.
  • Eeyore: Yeah, well done.
  • Otis: Yeah, I just did what any other handsome, charismatic, heroic, adonis-like and...

(All murmuring skepticism)

  • Otis: So, Pip, what is the secret ingredient that makes this pie so good?
  • Pooh: Yeah, I hope it's honey?
  • Rabbit: How you think of honey, in the time like this?
  • Pooh: I'm Practice.
  • Pig: Oh, well, I guess Grammy wouldn't mind. After all, you guys are family.
  • Tigger: But, we're not you family, Pig.
  • Sunset Shimmer: I'm think Tigger is right, Pig.
  • Pig: No, no, You're my family in a friendship, way. (clears thoat) The secret ingredient of my Truffle Pie is...

(Honks)

(All Murmuring Disgust)

  • Peck: Pig, oh, that's disgusting!

(Black out)

(Cosmo pops out)

  • Cosmo: Everybody!

[Cosmo]

Tractor, Called a Actor, He had vactor,he's latid to you...

  • Wanda: He's a basket Case, but he's my Basket Case.

THE END

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