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Cow's Best Friend
Season 1, Episode 2b
Cow's Best Friend Logo
Written by LegoKyle14 & Magmon47
Directed by LegoKyle14
Episode guide
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Cow's Best Friend is the 4th episode from: Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

( Otis, Pip, Pig, Cosmo and Sunset Shimmer are practicing music and Tigger was watching. Otis got his tongue stuck on his guitar, Pig unstuck him)

  • Otis: Psycho tractor crusion' down the highway of pain...
  • Pip: Of Pain.
  • Otis: Psycho Tractor... Tillin't the soil of my Barin, Psycho Tractor.. OW, OW, OW. Ow, ow, ok, and ow.
  • (Otis got his tongue stuck on his guitar, Pig unstuck him)
  • Otis: Thank you, Ow.
  • Tigger: Not bad.
  • Otis: Well, that sounded like we never rehearsed, can't play a note and have no business in playing music.
  • Pip: So you're saying?
  • Otis: We we born to rock-n-roll!

(Everyone yell in happiens)

  • Sunset Shimmer: You said guys!
  • Pip: Uh-oh, hide the fun.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Why?
  • Pip: Here comes Mcstuff the fighting dog.

(Duke comes in)

  • Duke: Gentlemen and Lady, as the Barnyard Safety Inspector I have some concerns about your concert tonight.
  • Pip: Dude, you're not the Safety Inspector. You chewed that hat off one of your dog-toys.
  • Duke: None of the less, it comes with certain responsibilities.
  • Tigger: This will be like Rabbit is on Spring Cleaning Day.
  • Duke: Now, I'm told you have explosives on the premises.
  • Pig: Oh, you mean our big pyro technical fireworks finale?
  • Otis: Come on, Officer Dum-Out, it's being totally handle by experienced experts!

(Expolsions goes off)

  • Peck: We're Ok.
  • Freddy: We meant to do that!
  • Timmy: Next time, lets do it outside!
  • Cosmo: Gotta (faints)
  • Duke: That's going on my report.
  • Otis: Duke, I'll tell you what. You forget about this little report of yours and I will let you sit with the band.
  • Duke: Otis, I am offended. Are we talking lead vocals?
  • Otis: Absolutely not!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Besides, I'm doing lead!
  • Duke: Then, I am offended that you would try to bribe your way out of this series issue! Take this rope for instant, someone could trip over this and burst into flames.

(Duke pull the chord and a speaker was about to fall on him)

  • Otis: Duke! NNNNOOOOooo!

(Otis pushed Duke out of the way)

  • Tigger: That way close.
  • Duke: Otis, you save my life.
  • Pip: Not to mention that rental on that amp.
  • Otis: Yeah, you know what, dont even worry about that. It's fine.
  • Duke: Don't worry about it? Otis, I'm a dog. I'm loyal to anyone who scratch my ear for two seconds. But this, this baby, this is big.
  • Otis: You know what Duke, it's not that big of a deal. You would done the same thing for me
  • Duke: Hear me,Otis. For this point on, I will devote my entire life to serving you! How might I please you, sir?
  • Otis: Ok honestly, its really not...
  • Pip: Not a bad idea Otis would like a large pizza with anchovies, fries, waffles, jalapeno peppers on it. Did I forget anything?
  • Otis: Um, chocolate and hay?
  • Duke: You got it, boss.
  • Otis: You my friend are an evil genius. Your so cute with little rat face!
  • Pip: Thank you!
  • Tigger: I have a bad feeling about this.
  • Sunset Shimmer: You and me both!

(Cut to to outside of the Barnyard)

(They eating pizza under the tree)

  • Pig: Oh,mm,mm,mm,mm-mm,mm-mm-mm-mm.
  • Pip: Man, this a good pizza.
  • Pig: Hey, you should've saved Duke's life a long time ago.
  • Otis: Yeah, I know right?
  • (Sunset Shimmer comes by)
  • Sunset Shimmer: You ready to practice again?
  • Otis: Yeah, tongues out, pizza off the faces, watch the drool, and... 1..2...

(Duke comes in with a reef blower)

  • Otis: Duke, hello, stop. What are you doing?
  • Sunset Shimmer: We're trying to practice.
  • Duke: These noisy leaves were rustling. Just showing gratitude to the guy who (sobbing) the guy who save...
  • Otis: Ok,ok, no need to cry. Alright, alright, you can keep helping me, ok.

(Duke stops crying)

  • Otis: Ok on the downbeat.

(There were about to start, when Duke was cutting down a tree)

  • Sunset Shimmer: DUKE!!!
  • Duke: Just tackling the problem at the source.

(Scene cuts in to Timmy, Cosmo, Peck and Freddy reading the fireworks)

  • Otis: How the fireworks coming, boys?
  • Peck: Oh, your gonna love Otis.
  • Timmy: Yeah, we're spelling out the band's name in fiery letters across the sky.
  • Freddy: Yeah, "The Barn Bu."
  • Sunset Shimmer: The Barn Bu?
  • Pig: I thought we were the Barn Burners?
  • Freddy: We ran out of fireworks, so your the Barn Bu, now.
  • Timmy: Well, Cosmo was playing with the some of the fireworks.
  • Cosmo: Was not!
  • Timmy: Was too!
  • Cosmo: Was not!
  • Timmy: Was too!

(Pip, Piglet, Eveyore, Rabbit and Pooh,comes in riding Duke)

  • Pip: Get along, little duke-y. (Laughs)
  • Duke: Hey, boss, I let Pip and Pooh and his pals ride me here like a horse, like you asked.
  • Otis: Um... (Laughs) I'm pretty sure I didn't... (Pip hit Otis) Ow, shin.
  • Pip: My paw slipped.
  • Duke: Anyway, I'm glad you're all here. Since I have something I'd like to express to Otis... In song.
  • Otis: Sweet cud, no.
  • Eeyore: This outta be good.

(Duke singing in Broadway theme)

  • Duke: (singing) Dogs are owners man best friend. But hey that's all about to end. as of this moment here and now, I pledge my alligiance to a cow.
  • Otis: That is really catchy good stuff. Too bad it have to be over that soon
  • Duke: That bad,huh? I just wanted to let you know how much your friendship(started sobbing) means too...I'm sorry.
  • Pig: He's just trying to be nice, Otis
  • Rabbit: Yeah, will you let him finish his song?
  • Otis: yeah,but...
  • Sunset Shimmer: Otis?
  • Otis: But... (Sighs) Duke, buddy. I'm sorry. Can you please finish your song?
  • Duke: Can do. (contuied Singing) Our greatest owner he's a number eleven on a greater scale that goes to 7.yeah
  • Pip: It ryhmed.
  • Pooh: That's something.

(He's is keep singing all day long)

The Middle

(Otis and Pip are hiding from Duke)

  • Otis: I think we lost him!
  • Pip: It's about time!
  • Pooh: Why are you hiding, don't you like Duke appreciating you?
  • Otis: I know the guy means well, but he's driving me nuts
  • Pip: That guy is total nusiance
  • Sunset Shimmer: I know how that feels
  • Duke: Oh Otis?
  • Pip: Over here!
  • Pooh and Sunset Shimmer: Quiet!
  • Duke: Hey, Otis! (barks) I brought you, Pooh, and Shimmer some lunch and those Pepe the mouse comics books Pip says you love so much.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Pip!
  • Duke: I gotta so much stuff for ya
  • Otis: Duke, you're too kind. But this is not necessary, ya know
  • Sunset Shimmer: Maybe you should take a break.

(The three take a sandwich)

  • Pooh: These are really good!
  • Otis: What in these sandwiches?
  • Duke: Otis has veggie salami, Shimmer has turkey and chesse, and Pooh has a honey spread. I pre-chewed them so you guys wouldn't waste precious jaw energy.

(They stop chewing)

  • Otis: You pre-chew these.
  • Duke: Mmm,Hmm
  • Otis: So the sandwiches in our mouth was previously in your mouth
  • Duke: Nice taste, huh?

(They spit out the sandwiches and ran to the field)

  • Otis: SPIT SANDWICH!!!
  • Pooh: That was disgusting!
  • Sunset Shimmer: I'm gonna be sick!

(They all starting licking the grass)

  • Bessie: Well, I'm done.
  • Abby: Guy, what are you doing?
  • Otis: Duke, is driving us, nuts. (creapy laugh)
  • Sunset Shimmer: How we'll stop this non-scents?
  • Abby: Well, just be honest with him, guys. Friends appreciate honesty.
  • Otis: So you think I should fake a life-threatening situation so Duke will save me, and then we'll be even, then he'll leave us alone. We will dot it!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Good Idea.
  • Pooh: Thanks, Abby.

(they walks away)

  • Bessie: They're gone, but you can still smell the stupid.

(cuts to Pig hiding behind a rock)

  • Pig: The clam is on the escalator.
  • Otis: Excuse me?
  • Sunset Shimmer: What did you say?
  • Pig: It's code,"the clam" is Duke, see.
  • Otis: So, what, Duke's on an escalator? I, what?
  • Pip: Dude, I'm pretty sure dogs aren't allowed on escalators.
  • Otis: What, did the clam sneak him in?
  • Pip: Maybe a seeing-eyed dog for the clam.
  • Pig: Oh, for snout's sake, Duck is coming.
  • Pooh: Why didn't you say that in the first place?

(Duke comes in)

  • Duke: Hey, Otis just came by to see if you needed...

(Otis choking)

  • Pig: Oh, no. Otis seems to be choking on a apple.
  • Pip: Only you can help him, Duke.
  • Duke: I'll save you buddy.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Are you doing it?
  • Pig: I'm pretty sure your supposed to do that from the other side.
  • Duke: Don't worry, don't worry, I'm a trained professional.

(Otis spits out apple and lands in duke's mouth)

(Duke choking)

  • Otis: You have got to be kidding me.
  • Pooh: I'll help you.

(Duke spits out the apple)

  • Duke: You save my life again. Boy, if you thought I was devote to you guys before you haven't nothing yet.

(Otis whimpering)

  • Duke: I know saving a life is every emotional. You can wipe your on me if you want.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Plan B!

(Cut to Plan B)

  • Pig: Pst, I'm not wearing any pants.
  • Otis: What's that code for?
  • Pig: That wasn't the a code, I just felt like sharing. Hey, look, here comes Duke.
  • Otis: Help, help. I'm a large cow who is drowning, won't someone save me?
  • Duke: Otis, don't worry, stay there, I'll save you.

(Then Duke jumps to the lake, and he can't swim)

  • Duke: Help, help, I just, I can't swim!
  • Otis: What about the doggy paddle?
  • Sunset Shimmer: I though you learn about that?
  • Duke: I never learned it...

(than Duke went down into the lake)

  • Pip: And... He's down.

(Otis drags Duke to shore)

  • Pip: Otis, he needs mouth to mouth.
  • Otis: Yeah, well ,I already ate his spit once,so one of you guys hop on that.
  • Pip: My mouth to small.
  • Sunset Shimmer: I'm not putting my mouth on a dog.
  • Pig: And I'm saving myself for that special someone.
  • Otis: (Groans) Ok... (Inhales) Dog lips.
  • Sunset Shimmer: That's gonna haunt me.

The Ending

(Cut to Cosmo, Timmy, Peck, and Freddy)

  • Peck: I keep forgetting, if we're suppose to use one ounce of blast powder or one 78 pound barrel of blast powder.
  • Freddy: Well you know the old saying.
  • Cosmo: What's that?
  • Freddy: When in doubt,
  • Both: go with the larger of the two amounts of blast powder!
  • Cosmo: Timmy and Freddy help roll out this line.
  • Timmy: You got it.

(Cut to Pip)

  • Pig: Ooh, here he comes, here he comes.

(Duke comes in)

  • Otis: Duke help! We're accidentally climbed to the top of this Silo and we have unfortunately slipped, our life are in peril.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Save us, Duke!
  • Duke: Hang on, guys. I'll get a ladder.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Something easy?
  • Otis: How could he possibly mess this one up?

(Duke brings a ladder and comes up)

  • Duke: Here I come, buddies. I'm coming for you, guys.
  • Otis: Ok we're waiting.
  • Duke: Hey my favorite ball! I lost that three months ago
  • Sunset shimmer: Duke?
  • Otis: Ok, ball not in danger of dying over here, focus.
  • Duke: Right right right, saving you lifes.

(the ball drops and Duke went after it)

  • Otis: Less barking more saving
  • Sunset Shimmer: This is gonna hurt.

(They fall and landed on the ground)

  • Otis: Ok. No more, I give up. We cannot do this anymore.
  • Duke: What, play fetch?
  • Sunset Shimmer: No!
  • Otis: I can't keep faking life threatening situations and you'll save us and will be even and finally leave...us...alone!
  • Duke: I'm just trying to be nice since you (sobbing)
  • Otis: Duke don/t cry I'm sorry I hurt your feelings but please stop being nice to me.
  • Duke: I understand. I'll just stay away.
  • Sunset Shimmer: That was a little harsh.
  • Otis: I know. but maybe now we can pratice for tonight's... my foot caught.
  • Sunset shimmer: So is mine.
  • Peck: Now explosives be can highly unpredicable guys. you want to help do a test run
  • Freddy: You had me at "explosives."
  • Timmy: Light them up!

(Freddy lights the fuses)

  • Sunset Shimmer: Otis. I think we have a problem!
  • Otis: Uh, Duke, could you untie our foots over here?
  • Duke: Don't worry Otis. I'm not stupid. I heard you loud and clear.
  • Otis: No-no-no-no, I know what I said, but listen, we really, seriously need your help now, ok?
  • Duke: See, you're playing with me, that's just cruel.
  • Sunset Shimmer: We're not playing we really need your help.

(The two get tangled together)

  • Otis: Fuse, fireworks, pain, Help!
  • Sunset Shimmer: Please?!?

(Duke smell smoke turn his head around)

  • Duke: Otis!

(Duke run tolls them and Duke helps them get out)

  • Sunset Shimmer: Uh, Please, hurry.
  • Duke: My Paws are slippy, they're damp.
  • Otis: Avoid fiery death.
  • Duke: I'm doing my best...
  • Otis: It's gonna get really blow-up-y in a second.

(Duke got them free and runaway from a explosive from the fireworks)

  • Otis: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

(The fireworks say the word out "The Barn Bu" and cut to Pig, Pooh and others)

  • Pig: "The Barn Bu," It's growing on me.
  • Piglet: Oh, Sunset, we're so worry about you, are you ok?
  • Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, Piglet, I'm find.
  • Cosmo: I'm think we learned a viola lesson, today.
  • Pooh: Well, what is it?
  • Tigger: To respected you're friends?
  • Piglet: Stay away from fire?
  • Rabbit: Be nice to people?
  • Sunset Shimmer: Or talk to you're friends, before you did something worry?
  • Cosmo: No, never mess up you're band names. And get more firework, when you don't a enough to spell you're band's name.
  • Timmy: Close enough.

(Cut to Otis and Duke)

  • Otis: This is great, Duke. Now we are actually, genuinely even, and everything can go back to normal.
  • Duke: Even? Otis, your little stunts almost got me killed 20 times today. I figure you owe me.
  • Otis: I own you?
  • Duke: Mm-mm.
  • Otis: All right, fine, whatever, what do you want? You want to pre-chew my food, you want to ride around on my back? You want me to read your spanish comics, name it, name it.
  • Duke: I had something else in mind.

(later that night, Duke singing the lead row of this concert )

  • Duke: (Singing) Heavy paws of lead, fill the sheep with dread. No one leaves the pen, Iron Dog lives agin! (Howling)

(Otis clover his ear with baby chickens)

  • Sunset Shimmer: I can't believe, Otis let Duke lead this concert.
  • Cosmo: Look out this way, at least you saying your voice for the next concert.

(Sunset his Cosmo with a drum and his head pops out)

  • Cosmo: Ouch!

(The End)

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