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Endangered Liaisons
Season 2, Episode 7b
Endangered Liaisons
Written by LegoKyle14 & Magmon47
Directed by LegoKyle14
Episode guide
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Here's 13th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene opens up where Otis, Pooh, and all their friends are coming back from the Mustache Festival)

  • Pip: Man that the best Mustache Festival ever.

(Everyone agrees)

  • Sci-Twi: I still can't believe the Louds won the Dress Like Your Siblings Contest. (show their picture)
  • That's a nice picture.
  • Lola: It was nothing.
  • Otis: Nothing can ruin this perfect mustachio day.

(Suddenly a wreck crew comes in)

  • Otis: Sweet cud. What's going on?
  • Farmer: Stop! You can't tear down my farm.
  • Worker: Mister we been over this. Sorry pal, the world's clamoring a 50,000 sitted lawn-dart staduim and this paper with writing on it says we can tear down you farm to built it.
  • Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT!?!?
  • Piglet: WHAT!!?!?
  • Pooh: WHAT!?!?!
  • Rabbit: WHAT!?!?!?
  • Eeyore: HUH!?!??!
  • Timmy: WHAT?!?!
  • Cosmo and Wanda: WHAT?!?!
  • Lincoln: WHAT?!?!
  • Girl Louds: WHAT!?!?!
  • Human Pinkie Pie: WHAT!!?!?
  • Mickey, Donald and Goofy: What?!?!
  • Otis: Tear down the farm!?!
  • Abby: We'll have nowhere to live.
  • Peck: They can't take our land just like that.
  • Pig: Uh, actually they can. I handle many cases just like this.

(In a Pigman Group)

  • Pig: Hello, I'm Barry Pigman, Attorney at Law. Has your property been seized by a fancy paper with writing on it? Then call the Pigman Group. We'll fight to save your farm using hurtful insults and name calling. Why sit there and take it when you can sue-sue-sueeeeeee! (picks up phone)
  • VO: Barry Pigman is not a lawyer or human and has little or no legal knowledge. Results may not occured.
  • Human Rainbow Dash: Ok, none of that happened
  • Pig: I have a rich fantasy life.
  • Otis: Guys, they can't just take our home, we gotta stop them!
  • Eeyore: But how do we do it?
  • Pip: You know this happen to my Uncle Manny once. They stopped building when they found out that his field was a endangered newt habitat.
  • Abby: To bad we don't have any endangered creatures.
  • Otis: Or do we?
  • Abby: Sure don't.

(Everyone agrees with Abby)

  • Otis: No, no, listen to my candiance. Or Do we?
  • Donald: We just said no.
  • Otis: Just follow me!!!!
  • Pip: I don't get what your doing.

(Back with the Farmer)

  • Farmer: I'll never let you tear down my farm.
  • Worker: Have it your way
  • Farmer: (a wrecking ball falls on him) Ok, I'll go now.
  • Worker: Ok, let's trash this place.

(They were about to bulldoze the place in until)

  • Otis: (disguised with Human Fluttershy as environmentalists) STOP!!!!
  • Worker: Who are you?
  • Otis: Lance Treehugger, handsome environmentalist.
  • Human Fluttershy: And I'm Meadow Treehugger, animal environmentalist.
  • Otis: And you're trespassing on the habitat of the last remaining spotted ferret
  • Worker: There's no such thing.
  • Otis: Oh isn't there?
  • Worker: No, there isn't.
  • Otis: No listen to the cadence. Oh, isn't there?
  • Worker: Is this going somewhere?
  • Human Fluttershy: Yes it is. Dear, if you please.
  • Otis: Akka Wakka Woo! Akka Wakka Woo!

(At the others, Abby sprayed Freddy with brown paint)

  • Mickey: It's the signal.
  • Human Rarity: He's done.
  • Lisa: Remember, you're a endangered spotted ferret.
  • Lincoln: Now go out there, Freddy.
  • Freddy: Um, what's my motivation?
  • Abby: Here it is.

(Abby kicks Freddy in the air land at with Otis)

  • Human Fluttershy: Oh your in luck, he's about to his territorial dance.

(Freddy does a tap dance and Otis bonks him on the head with a cane)

  • Otis: Yes, well done, noble creature. And so, by the power vested in me, by the planet of Earth, I proclaim this farm, protected habitat.
  • Worker: Aww, nuts. We can't built on protected land. Alright fellas, pack it up. Pack it up.

(The workers left)

  • Farmer: Thanks environmentalist people.
  • Human Fluttershy: Don't thank us. Thank the spotted ferret.
  • Freddy: No problem. Uh--I mean, Akka Wakka Woo
  • Otis: Try not to talk.

The Middle

(The next day)

  • Hilly Burdford: (on TV) This just in folks: plans for the county's lawn dart stadium have been srcaped by the amazing discovery of some sort of crazy spotted weasel. He got spots, people. Spots! How about that?
  • Otis: Great job team we save the farm.

(Everyone cheered)

  • Duke: Hey guys, we got a special delivery from Sweden.

(Everyone is surprised)

  • Otis: I wonder what it could be?
  • Abby: Maybe it's French perfume.
  • Pip: Maybe it's Swiss Cheese
  • Human Rarity: Maybe it Russian Boots.
  • Luna: Maybe, it's a accordian.
  • Otis: Guys guys, those are different countries. Sweden's in Norway.
  • Goofy: What's it say?
  • Otis: Delivered from Spotted Ferret Habitat? (opens the box and a real spotted Ferret comes out)
  • Inga: Hello, I am Inga. It is so nice to meeting you.
  • Lisa: Sweetmother of discovery. It's a real spotted ferret.
  • Spike the dog: Otis, I thought you made it up.
  • Otis: Uh, I thought I did.
  • Freddy: Hey does anyone have any spot remover? I can't get these things too---
  • Inga: There is him. (Jumps on Freddy) At last. I have someone to sharing the life with.
  • Freddy: Get her off me! Get her off me!
  • Timmy: So your a real spotted ferret?
  • Inga: Ja,my zookeepers hear story on tv and say, "ja, god,we be sending inga to making nice companionship.
  • Freddy: C-c-companionship?
  • Inga: Ja, together we are being forever, forever, and ever.
  • Freddy: You got the wrong idea, sister. I'm a bachelor, a free spirit. No one gonna hold me down. Girl Germs!(runs into the barnyard)
  • Inga: Oh, not liking the Inga he is?
  • Otis: No, no, no, no, Freddy liking the Inga.
  • Sunset Shimmer: Don't worry. I'm sure deep down he's loves you a lo-
  • Freddy: Is she gone yet!?!?!
  • Otis: Will you excuse us?

(Otis, Pooh and others went into the Barn)

  • Peck: So, uh...
  • Abby: Sweden.
  • Pig: Guys, step aside. I'll make her feel at home. Inga, (talks Swedish)
  • Inga: (Gasps and slaps Pig)
  • Pig: I deserve that.

(Inside the barnyard)

  • Freddy: Get 'em off me. get 'em off me!
  • Otis: Freddy, what are the heck are you doing?
  • Lola: You just dumped a girl who wants to be with you.
  • Freddy: Guys, I not ready to make a commitment. I want to keep my options open.
  • Human Rainbow Dash: What options?
  • Otis: Exactly. I mean, no! You can't blow Inga off.
  • Freddy: Why?
  • Otis: Because if her zookeepers find out you two aren't together, they'll know something's up, and we'll lose our protected status, and then it's bye-bye, farm.
  • Mickey: Then will have to find somewhere else to live.
  • Lucy: I see in your future that you'll fall in love.
  • Lori: And she's only one of her kind.
  • Cosmo: And women love senseitivity
  • Wanda: Aww.
  • Cosmo: And if you can fake that, you're in.
  • Pip: She's a girl who talks to you.
  • Otis: Not helping, guys. Please, Freddy? You got to pretend to like her. Do it for the barnyard.
  • Freddy: Well, as long as it doesn't interfere with my fast-living bachelor lifestyle.
  • Pip: It won't.
  • Freddy: All right. Bathe her, and bring her to me.
  • Otis: Uh, it doesn't really work that way.
  • Freddy: Oh, I hate dating.

(At the forest)

  • Freddy: (sees Inga with her radio) Hi, Inga.
  • Inga: Oh. Hello, Freddy
  • Freddy: YOU CAN'T TIE ME DOWN---uh, I mean, whatcha doing?
  • Inga: It's ok Freddy. You don't have to be liking me
  • Freddy: Look Inga. You seem nice but I just don't know I'm ready to be looking for a girlfriend right now.
  • Inga: I am understanding. Well if you be excusing me, I am going to be listening to sad music on my Flabba CD.
  • Freddy: You-you like Flabba?
  • Inga: Ja, they are being my favorite rock music band ever.
  • Freddy: Mine too. I like to listen to them when I make festive doily art.
  • Inga: I too make the festive doilies.
  • Freddy: Really?
  • Inga: Ja.
  • Freddy: Ja?
  • Inga: Ja.
  • Freddy: Ja?
  • Inga: Ja.
  • Freddy: Ja?
  • Inga: Ja.
  • Freddy: Get out of Sweden.
  • Inga: I did.

(Days went by and Freddy and Inga spend time together, listening to Flabba, drinking soda out of a vase, swinging and trying to eat Peck. Then next day, everyone was playing Poker)

  • Pig: Gin.
  • Human Pinkie Pie: Um, Pig, you guys are playing Poker.
  • Pig: Ah, Poker.

(Freddy comes in love)

  • Otis: Well, if it isn't our endangered spotted lover-boy

(Everyone makes cute mocks)

  • Freddy: Guys, I was wrong about Inga. She's amazing.
  • -We're so happy for you Freddy.
  • Tigger: What's she like?
  • Freddy: We love the same music, we both like doiley art, and we both have a disturibing craving to eat Peck.
  • Peck: It's true.
  • Abby: We're so happy for you, Freddy.
  • Pig: Yeah that's great Freddy,
  • Pip: Awesome, dude.
  • Freddy: In fact, I want you guys to be the first to know that were eloping later today.
  • Leni: What's eloping?
  • Sunset Shimmer: It means they're getting married.
  • Lincoln's sisters: Married?!?

(The girls started squealing with joy)

  • Lisa: Normally, I don't care for inane human emotions, but.. (squeals)

(Everyone congratulates him)

  • Freddy: Well gotta go gusy up. Inga is building our commitment den as we speak. Oh, I'm the happiest ferret on Earth. (leaves)
  • Pip: Go luck dude. I give it 2 weeks tops.
  • Otis: Could you please be supportive? As long as their together, the barnyard is safe.
  • Abby: Hey, you guys want to go on the farmer's computer and get a wedding gift?
  • Tigger: What a fantasical idea, Abby!

(Everyone started thinking of present ideas?)

  • Spike the Dog: I'm curious. What does happen a spotted ferret wedding?
  • Abby: Ok here's a spotted ferret website.
  • Sci-Twi: What's it say?
  • Abby: Let's see. It says on her wedding day, the lady spotted ferret builds a commitment den.
  • Everyone: Awww.
  • Abby: Then the male gussy himself up for the ceremonial courtship dance.
  • Everyone: Awwww.
  • Abby: Following the dance, she eats the mate's head..
  • Otis: Uh,...
  • Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT!?!?
  • Piglet: WHAT!!?!?
  •  Pooh: WHAT!?!?!
  •  Rabbit: WHAT!?!?!?
  •  Eeyore: HUH!?!??!
  •  Timmy: WHAT?!?!
  •  Cosmo and Wanda: WHAT?!?!
  •  Lincoln: WHAT?!?!
  •  Girl Louds: WHAT!?!?!
  •  Human Pinkie Pie: WHAT!!?!?
  •  Mickey, Donald and Goofy: What?!?!
  •  Pig: Ok what are we going get them?
  •  Otis: Holy Cud, she's going to eat Freddy's head.
  •  Pig: Oh, so I guess the hat's out.
  •  Peck: No wonder she's the only spotted ferret left. She's a head eater.
  •  Rabbit: Come on. We got to stop that wedding before Inga eats Freddy
  •  Pig: Maybe a toaster.

 (Oits grabs Pig)

The Ending

(Everyone began looking for the den)

  • Timmy: Wait, I hear music.
  • Pooh: Look! (points to the den)
  • Abby: Sounds like the ceremony already begun
  • Pig: This is terrible.
  • Leni: We didn't even bring a present.
  • Pig: She's right. To the mall! (him and Leni left)
  • Otis: Come on!

(Inside the den)

  • Freddy: With thing ring, I pledge my love.
  • Inga: With this barabcue sauce, I pledge my love.
  • Freddy: I love your quaint old world customs. So, are we married yet?
  • Inga: Almost. There's only one part left of the ceremony. (sharpens her teeth)

(Inga was about to attack until...)

  • Otis: Freddy, hold on to your head! (pulls the den off)
  • Freddy: Guys, what are you doing? The reception is not til later.
  • Human Pinkie Pie: You can't marry her!
  • Mickey: She eats the groom's head on their wedding day.
  • Freddy: Look, marriage is all about compromise. You give a little, she eats your head. (Inga puts his head in her mouth) It's ok. Just a little love bite.
  • Otis: Grab him!

(Everyone tries to pull but Inga doesn't let go)

  • Pip: Dude, she has lockjaw!
  • Rabbit: Do something. Anyone. Anything.
  • Otis: Abby, quick, the spot remover.

(Abby sprayed off all the spots)

  • Freddy: Are we married yet?
  • Inga: (spits his head out) Freddy, you're not being a spotted ferret. You lied to me.
  • Freddy: Inga, I can explain.
  • Inga: (packs up) No! The wedding's off! And to think, I almost ate your head. (sobs as she leaves)
  • Freddy: Baby, don't go! I can change!
  • Pooh: She was eating your head.
  • Freddy: We were working through that.
  • Pig: Where the happy couple? We got you a panini press.

(Freddy sobs away)

  • Leni: We should have gone with the fondo set.

(Later the evening)

  • Freddy: Here I am carrying Inga over the threshold.
  • Everyone: Aww
  • Freddy: And here she is eating my head.
  • Everyone: Ew
  • Otis: Sorry, this didn't work out for you guys, Freddy.
  • Freddy: Oh, that's ok. For a brief shining moment, I got to experience true love. And now I know what a spline looks like.

(Everyone cheers him up)

  • Human Rarity: And don't worry, Freddy. I'm sure Inga will come to her sense and try again to make things work.
  • Freddy: Thanks, Rarity.
  • Pip: But Otis, if we don't have a spotted ferret, what happens to our endangered status?
  • Otis: Got it covered. Right, rare Peruvian Devil Chicken?

(Peck painted in red and breathes fire)

THE END

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