|Season 2, Episode 7a|
|Written by||LegoKyle14 & Magmon47|
Lord of the Beavers/Transcript
(The scene opens up, the Cows scoring another touchdown)
- Mickey Mouse: This is a awesome game you brought us too, Lynn.
- Lynn: I still can't believe I won those tickets.
- Human Rainbow Dash: And it looks, Otis is really enjoying the game.
- Otis: That's my Cows! Taste the milk! MOOO!!!
- Abby: Otis, you were right. These masks make really great disguises.
- Otis: They sure do. But do you know what makes a disguise really work? Is not announcing your wearing one.
- Abby: Gotcha.
- Visitor Quarterback: Kidney stone, earwax, hairy warts, hike! (about to throw but tackles by on of the cows)
- Otis: Cows rule! MOOOO!!!
- Pig: Otis sure loves his cows doesn't he?
- Peck: Yeah, he the original superfan.
- Winnie the Pooh: Hey, I'm hungry.
- Donald Duck: Yeah me too.
- Pickle Guy: Pickles! Who wants pickles?
- Otis: Yo, pickle guy, right here! I'm burning in. (The pickle guy throws one and Otis jumps for it in slow motion. He also hit a woman with nachoes and a guy with a sandwich and pickle hit him in the face, knocking him in the face and falls down the stairs into the field)
(The crowd gasps)
- Otis: It's all right. I'm all good. Just a little bruising. No big--(see he has no disguise) Oh.
- Pip: Oh no, Otis has been outed.
- Eeyore: What do we do?
- Freddy: Quick, execute Operation: Don't Know Otis.
(Pip, Abby, Pig, Freddy and Peck just say "We don't know Otis")
- Hilly Burford: Hilly Burford here, Channel 8 News. You're a talking cow.
- Otis: No I'm not. (mutters) Ahhh, who am I kidding? Might as well admit it. I'm a talking---
- Hilly Burford: So how long have you been the Cow's new mascot?
- Otis: Mascot. Mascot! Yes. I'm one of those mascot guys. Watch me mascot. Gooooo Cows! (does a flips, and the crowd likes him and gets an idea) Alight, people, Give me a C!
- Crowd: C!
- Otis: Give me an O!
- Crowd: O!
- Otis: Now throw stuff on the field to distract to trip the opposing team.
(The crowd throws stuff on the field and Cows player makes a touchdown)
- Hilly Burford: Cows win. That new mascot just turn this game around.
- Otis: We got udders! Yes we do! We got udders! How'd bout you!
- Crowd: We got udders! Yes we do! We got udders! Moo Moo Moo!
- Abby: Otis, that was amazing!
- Spike the dog: The crowd loves you.
- Pip: Yeah, now let's get out of here!
- Otis: That is a good idea.
(They started to run until Otis was stopped by the Cows' coach)
- Coach: Hold it right there!
- Otis: I AM A HUMAN MAN!
- Coachman: And I'm Coach Coachman, coach of the Tri-county Cows. My mom wants you to be the Cows new mascot.
- Otis: Your mom?
- Coachman: Yah. She owns the team. She said I'm a big boy.
- Otis: (to audience) That was weird.
- Coachman: (phone rings) Oh, that's her. (answers) What? Yah, I just ask him. He didn't answer yet. So what do you say, you wanna be the mascot?
- Otis: Sure!
- Coachman: Oh playing hardball? How bout I throw in season tickets for your buddies?
- Otis: I already said yes.
- Coachman: Aww, dude you killing me here. Alright, I'll double your salary and throw in Sunday dinner with me and my mommy.
- Otis: Let me speak to her. Hi coach's mommy? I'LL DO IT!!!
(Back at the barnyard)
- Otis: Pom poms?
- Pip: Check.
- Otis: Rainbow wig?
- Pip: Check.
- Otis: Chanty dance book of chanty chants?
- Pip: Check.
- Otis: Bucket of rotten broccoli to throw at opposing team's face?
- Pip: Check.
- Otis: We're good.
- Abby: Otis, we come to talk you out of this dangerous scheme.
- Lincoln: Yeah, you almost got exposed.
- Rabbit: You got lucky.
- Timmy Turner: Maybe you should a quit while your ahead.
- Otis: That's wierd cause I was gonna talk you into my dangerous scheme by becoming the barnyard spirit squad.
- Lynn: Alright, I love some Football. I'm in!
- Otis: Thanks, Lynn. Anybody else?
(Everyone was not convince)
- Lynn: Come guys, we get to be a cheerleading squad.
- Human Rarity: And I got the perfect outfits for it.
- Donald Duck: Still not convince.
- Human Applejack: Yeah. What's in it for us?
- Otis: Come on guys. Football is the heart of America. The blood of Europe, and the backbone of the Equator. This is our chance to make history. Now's whose with me?
(Everyone stood quiet)
- Human Applejack: Again, what's in it for us?
- Otis: Mascots eat for free.
(Everyone cheered and Said "Go Cows!!")
- VO: It's time for the pigskin farm classic: Cows vs Spider Monkeys!!
- Hilly Burford: Welcome, everybody, to Cows football. We're just five seconds into the first quarter, and these wacky new mascots already have the crowd going.
- Cheer Squad: TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT! Who's the team that can lactate? Yay, cows!
(Otis sprayed milk on the field a Cows makes a score)
(Later, Otis stuffs Freddy into a cannon)
- Tigger: A one, a two, a FIRE!!! (shoots him into the football range making the Cows score again)
- Hilly Burford: Wow, the old firing-the- ferret-from-a-cannon play.These guys take mascoting to the next level.
- Narrator: 2 hours of exciting football later...
- Hilly Burford: The Cows are down by two with ten seconds left to play. They got to win this game to stay alive.
- Winnie the Pooh: We can't make a touchdown with just 10 seconds.
- Lisa: I did the math and it's impossible.
- Pip: Oh, well. looks like we're licked.
- Otis: Cows are never licked. Pig, secret whispery plan. (whispering)
- Spidermonkey Quarterback: All right, we got them on the ropes. Let's do this thing!
- Hilly Burford: Yowza. Folks, I've just received word that pop star Jessica Allspice is stepping onto the field.
- Spider Monkey Quarterback: 27, 33, 45, Hut!
- Pig: (as Jessica) Hello, boys.
(The Spider Monkeys started to puke and the Cows make a touchdown winning the game)
- Goofy: We won!
- Tigger: We showed those monkey a thing or three.
- Otis: Yes, Cows win! We are going to the championships.
(At the Championships game)
- Coach: Well, guys, this is it, the big championship game. (cell phone rings) Yeah what is it, Ma? But you said I could give the big pep talk. But it's my job. Oh, all right. My mommy wants to give you a message of hope and inspiration.
(Elsewhere the other are trying to do a hexagon pyramid)
- Timmy: Ow my back.
- Sunset Shimmer: Whose foot in my eye?
- Sci-Twi: Otis, are you sure we should this pryamid this way?
- Otis: Twilight, if we can pull off the animal hexagon, we'll be mascot legends. You okay down there, peck?
- Peck: Yeah, I think so, Otis-- as long as no one adds any extra weight.
- Pickle Guy: Pickles here. get your pickles.
- Otis: Ooh, I'll take a bunch. (catches one in his mouth and Peck started to lose balance)
- All: WHOA!
- Tigger: Look out!
(The heroes lands on the whole team and break their bones)
- All: Otis!
- Winnie the Pooh: We just crush the whole football team!
- Wanda: And we're gonna lose the game!
- Pip: Coach's mama's not going to like this.
- Pig: And we'll lose our lucrative sports endorsements.
- Human Fluttershy: We have a sport endorsement?
- Cosmo: Uh duh, me and Pig did it yesterday.
- Pig: Hello, I'm Pig, co-mascot of the Tri-County Cows. And when I'm out there cheering on the field, I need to stay dry. That's why I use new Snout Body Spray with powerful odor-eating enzymes. (sprayed some in Cosmo's eyes)
- Cosmo: Body spray burns my eyes! (runs into stuff and get eletrocuted)
- Lincoln: Hey Pig. Help me get my arms unstuck.
- Lana: You're gonna feel some slight discomfort and...
- Pig: The body spray can't be that bad. (sprayed some in his eyes) Ow, my eyes! Oh, I can't see! Someone, help me! And now try new lady snout spray: Same great formula, much higher price. (back at the game) Oh, wait, I lost that contract.
(The crowd started to get angry and the hospital takes the team away)
- Otis: What have I done? A mascot is supposed to make the crowd happy, but I've made them the opposite of that.
- Human Pinkie Pie: Is it angry?
- Otis: Exactly.
- Abby: Otis, that crowd sounds angry. Maybe we should leave.
- Otis: You're right. Let's leave before they-- (Hears crying) You guys hear that? It's like a sad, pathetic kind of a--
- Human Rarity: It's the coach. He's crying.
- Coach: (cell phone rings) Hello? Yeah, I know, mom. I messed up. I know you thought I was a big boy. It's true; I never do anything right. You still love me, though, don't you? Hello? hello?
- Peck: Oh, that is so sad.
- Rabbit: Oh dear, mercy me.
- Piglet: Oh dear, mercy me too.
- Pig: Yeah. well, let's go.
- Otis: Guys, no. we have to do something.
- Lucy: Like what, play the game for them?
- Sunset Shimmer: Lucy, that's it. We'll play the game for them.
- Eeyore: But only we know how to play football is Lynn and Lincoln.
- Sunset Shimmer: We got no other option.
- Otis: She's right. We have to do it. Coach, dry those puffy little eyes. We're going to win this thing and make your mommy love you again.
- Coach: Really? Will I be a big boy?
- Otis: You'll be the biggest boy ever.
- Tigger: Let's do this.
(Everyone gets suited up for the game)
- Hilly Burford: Folks, this is extraordinary. It appears that the little mascot people are filling in for the injured cow players. Hey, now, that's what I call a flippety-flippety-mackadoo- flippety-wacow.
- Otis: Salami! Pastrami! Pepperoncini! Hike! (Two Mud Puppies are coming at him until he licks the ball) Abby! (tosses her the ball and makes a score for a photo finish)
- Abby: Yes! In your face, mud puppies!
- Hilly Burford: Cows score. Those little mascot people just took themselves a trolley ride to touchdown town.
- Otis: Nice work, guys. Maybe we'll pull this off after all. Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp! hike! Freddy, all you! (throws it to him and he catches) Ha ha ha! No, don't throw it back. (hit in the face and the Mud Puppies makes a score)
- Rabbit: Freddy!?!?!
(Next play, Mickey snaps the ball to Donald but it gets stuck in his mouth and Goofy get tangled up and the ball comes to Mickey and makes a touchdown)
- Timmy Turner: Nice work, guys.
- Goofy: No problem.
- Human Rainbow Dash: Set Hike! (tosses the ball to Lynn but gets trampled and the Mud Puppies makes a score again)
- Hilly Burford: Wow, that's our snout stick play of the day. Snout Stick: Smell like a winner. Hey, I wonder how this tastes on a frankfurter.
(Pip makes it to the touchdown and does a victory dance)
- M.P. Quarterback: 21, 35, 44! Hut! (throws the ball but it lands in Peck's hands)
- Peck: Wow. I did it. (Gets tackled and Mud Puppies make a score)
(The score now is Cows: 35 and Mud Puppies: 37 with 10 second left)
- Hilly Burford: The Cows trail behind with 10 seconds to go. Hey, if this game were any more exciting, I'd have to change my pants.
- Coach: Yeah, mom, I know we're losing. Yeah, I know you love sis better. Constant disappointment-- I hear ya.
(The others come in tired)
- Tigger: I'm so bushed.
- Human Applejack: I can't go anymore.
- Luna: Me niether.
- Winnie the Pooh: We have to keep going and win this for the coach.
- Otis: Pooh's right. We just need one more touchdown and we win.
- Leni: Otis, it's over. We've only got ten seconds.
- Otis: We can do this. We just need to get our hands on that pigskin.
- Pig: Pigskin? What are you talking about?
- Lisa: They use pigskin to make footballs.
- Pig: What?
- Otis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, Pig. That ball could be one of your relatives.
- Pig: (in deep voice) I'll handle this. (stood on his own on the field)
- Mud Puppy Quarterback: 44, 27, 36! Hut, hut! (Pig charged through the lineup) No, no! Stay away! (gets tackled)
- Otis: Yes, yes, you got it! Now run!
- Pig: You're safe now, my brother.\
- Mickey Mouse: He's not going to make it
- Otis: Five seconds left. Abby, kick him!
- Abby: Right.
(Pig flew high in the air and makes a field goal)
- Hilly Burford: Cows win. Cows win! Oh, baby, somebody kiss me.
- Coach: Good work, guys. You made my mom one happy lady.
- Otis: Glad to help, coach. Give your mom the game ball.
- Coach: Wow, thanks. This is really-- (He got attack by Pig)
- Otis: I think we should go now.