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Kuzco: (narrating) Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you'll never believe this, but that llama you're looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor. A rich, powerful ball of charisma. Oh, yeah! This is his story. Well, actually, my story. That's right...I'm that llama. The name is Kuzco...Emperor Kuzco. I was the world's nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason. Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what. You go back a ways, you know, before I was a llama and this will all make sense. All right, now see. That's a little too far back. Oh! Look at me. That's me as a baby. Ahem. All right, let's move ahead.

(Kuzco brushes his hair)

(The crown lands on his head)

Kuzco: Oh, yeah.

Singer: There are despots and dictators

Political manipulators

There are blue bloods

with the intellects of fleas

There are kings and catty tyrants

Who are so lacking in refinements

They'd be better suited

swinging from the trees

He was born and raised to rule

No one has ever been as cool

In a thousand years of aristocracy

An enigma and a mystery

In Mesoamerican history

The quintessence of perfection

that is he

Kuzco: (narrating) Okay, this is the real me. Not this. This. Not this. Winner. Loser. Okay, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command. Check this out.

Kuzco: Butler. Chef. Theme song guy.

Singer: Oh, yeah!

He's the sovereign lord of the nation           

He's the hippest cat

in creation

He's the alpha

the omega, A to Z

And this perfect world will spin

Around his every little whim

'Cause this perfect world

begins and ends with

Kuzco: Me.

Singer: What's his name

Kuzco

That's his name

Kuzco

He's the king of the world

Kuzco

Is he hip or what

Kuzco

Yeah

Kuzco: You threw off my groove!

Guard: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove.

Old man: (throwing out) Sorry!

Kuzco: You were saying?

Singer: What's his name

Kuzco

Kuzco

Kuzco

That's his name

Kuzco

Kuzco

Is he hip or what

Kuzco

Don't you know he's

the king of the world

Kuzco

Whoa, yeah

Kuzco: Boom, baby!

Man: Your Highness, it is time for you to choose your bride.

Kuzco: All righty. Trot out the ladies. Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes, yikes, yikes. And let me guess. You have a great personality. Is this really the best you could do?

Man: Oh, yes. Oh, no. I-I mean, p-perhaps...

Kuzco: (narrating) What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up. Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening? Well, let me show you the people responsible for ruining my life. First, there's Pacha. And there is Franklin and his family and his friends, Bear, Beaver, Snail, Goose, Fox, Rabbit, Skunk, Badger, Raccoon, Otter, Moose, Slyly, Leonard, Babar, Celeste, Pom, Flora, Alexander, Isabelle, Rataxes, Lady Rataxes, Victor, Klaus, Dany, Dodger, Rita, Francis, Einstein and Tito.

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