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Robot Hell is a song in Futurama

Lyrics

Regular

Beezelbot: We know all your sins, Bender, and for each one, we've prepared an agonizing, and ironic, punishment. Gentlemen?

[Music starts]

Bender: Aw, crap, singing. Mind if I smoke?

[singing starts]

Beezelbot: Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em,

We'll find ways to simulate that smell,

What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatella, here on level one of Robot Hell!

Beezelbot: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating. So is forging phony IOU's,

Let's let lady luck decide, what type of torture's justified.

I'm pit boss here on level two!

[He spins a wheel that Bender is strapped to. Luck decides to deep-fry Bender.]

Beezelbot: [speaking]: Ooh! Deep-fried robot!

[CUT TO... Bender is being dipped in what looks like boiling oil, the song has started up again]

Bender: [singing] Just tell me why!

Beezelbot:  [singing] Please read this 55-page warrant.

Bender: There must be robots worse than I!

Beezelbot:  We've checked around, there really aren't.

Bender: Then please let me explain, my crimes were merely boyish pranks!

Beezelbot: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!

Bender: Aw, don't blame me,
Blame my upbringing!

[He steals Beezelbot's wallet.]

Beezelbot: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!

[He rips off Benders arm]

Beezelbot: Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive!

[the song turns into a rap]

Beastie Boys: Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise, with your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys?

[record scratching]

Beastie Boys:That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five!

[CUT TO... Fry and Leela sliding down an enormous slide, the regular tune returns to the song]

Fry: I don't feel well...

Leela: It's up to us to rescue him!

Fry: Maybe he likes it here in Hell...

Leela: It's us who tempted him to sin!

Fry: Maybe he's back at the motel?

Leela: Come on, Fry, don't be scared,
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,

So just sit back, enjoy the ride.

Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide!

Beezelbot: Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights,

publishing indecent magazines,

you'll pay for every crime, knee-deep in electric slime,

you'll suffer till the end of time, enduring tortures, most of which rhyme,

trapped forever here in Robot Hell!

[The Robot Devil tosses his hat away and stops singing]

Beezelbot: Of course, that's just for starters.

Brian Griffin vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor version

Dread Steam: Gentlemen? [Music starts]

Bender: Aw, crap, singing. Mind if I smoke?

[singing starts]

Dread Steam: Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em,

We'll find ways to simulate that smell,

What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatella, here on level one of Robot Hell!

Megatron: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating. So is forging phony IOU's,

Let's let lady luck decide, what type of torture's justified.

I'm pit boss here on level two!

Starscream: [speaking]: Ooh! Deep-fried dogs!

Brian: [singing] Just tell me why?!

D199: [singing] Please read this 55-page warrant.

Brian: There must be dogs worse than I!

Discord: We've checked around, there really aren't.

Brian: Then please let me explain, my crimes were merely boyish pranks!

King Sombra: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!

Brian: Aw, don't blame me,
Blame my upbringing!

Tirek: Please stop sinning while were singing!

Diesel: Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive!

[the song turns into a rap]

Arry: Hey, Brian, gonna make some noise, with your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys?

[record scratching]

Bert: That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five!

Diesel 10: Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights,

publishing indecent magazines,

you'll pay for every crime, knee-deep in electric slime,

you'll suffer till the end of time, enduring tortures, most of which rhyme,

trapped forever here in Robot Hell!

Hiatt Grey's version

Megatron: Gentlemen?

[Music starts]

Hiatt Grey: Oh, God, what is this. A musical show?

[singing starts]

Trixie: Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em,

We'll find ways to simulate that smell,

What a sorry fella, rolled up and smoked like a panatella, here on level one of Robot Hell!

Sunset Shimmer: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating. So is forging phony IOU's,

Let's let lady luck decide, what type of torture's justified.

I'm pit boss here on level two!

[He spins a wheel. Luck decides to deep-fry Hiatt.]

Sunset Shimmer: [speaking]: Ooh! Deep-fried boys!

[CUT TO... Hiatt is being dipped in what looks like boiling oil, the song has started up again]

Hiatt Grey: [singing] Just tell me why!?

Adagio Dazzle: [singing] Please read this 55-page warrant.

Hiatt Grey: There must be boys worse than I!

Aria Blaze: We've checked around, there really aren't.

Hiatt Grey: Then please let me explain, my crimes were merely boyish pranks!

Sonata Dusk: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!

Hiatt Grey: Hey that wasn't me, that was Colonel Muska!

Adagio Dazzle: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!

Megatron: Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive!

[the song turns into a rap]

Frenzy and Lazerbeak: Hey, Hiatt, gonna make some noise, with your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys?

[record scratching]

Frenzy and Lazerbeak: That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on level five!

[CUT TO... Brian, Thomas and Twilight sliding down an enormous slide, the regular tune returns to the song]

Brian: I don't feel well...

Twilight: It's up to us to rescue him!

Brian: Maybe he likes it here in hell...

Twilight: It's us who tempted him to sin!

Brian: Maybe he's back at the motel?

Twilight: Come on, Brian, don't be scared, I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,

So just sit back, enjoy the ride.

Thomas: My ass has blisters from the ride!

Megatron: Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights,

publishing indecent magazines,

you'll pay for every crime, knee-deep in electric slime,

you'll suffer till the end of time, enduring tortures, most of which rhyme,

trapped forever here in Robot Hell!

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