This how the scene for the Kankers and the Gag Factory goes in Thomas, Twilight, Ed, Edd, n' Eddy's Big Picture show.
[Sarah and Jimmy skip past Eddy's house, carrying a basket. They enter the lane and come to a fence.]
Sarah: "On three, Jimmy. One..."
Sarah and Jimmy: "...two...three!"
[They toss the basket over the fence into Peach Creek Estates. They then pick it up on the other side and continue to run, giggling. This continues until they enter the woods, where Jimmy slows, then stops.]
Sarah: [annoyed] "What's the matter, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "I'm not allowed to go in there, Sarah. I still have bad dreams, and my mom had to buy a mattress cover!"
Sarah: [rolling her eyes] "Okay, but you're really gonna miss a doozy!"
[Sarah skips into the trailer park.]
Jimmy: [after a moment of contemplation] "I hope Kevin knocks Eddy's teeth out!" [He follows Sarah down the trail.] "Wait for me, girlfriend!"
[The path forks. Sarah takes the right fork, but Jimmy, unable to see Sarah, chooses the left path. He trips over a piece of machinery and flies into a lawn chair. Bouncing off that, he flies into the air and falls into a wagon full of clothes. The wagon tips over, spilling its load behind May. All three Kankers look up.]
Marie: "Oh, way to go, May!"
Lee: "Yeah! As if our laundry wasn't dirty enough! Quit holding up the line!" [She slings a bucket of clothespins at May.]
May: [ducking] "Watch it Lee!" [The bucket hits the wagon and boomerangs back to hit May in the back of her head.] "That didn't even hurt." [Marie hits her with a giant bag of soap.]
Marie: "Get back to work, snoutface. My skivvies ain't gonna wash themselves."
Lee: "Heh. Snoutface. Good one, Marie."
[May picks herself up off the ground. Jimmy peeks out and sees Lee pin an undershirt to the wire.]
May: "If you guys weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do!" [She pulls Jimmy out from the pile.]
Jimmy: "Oh, please! Don't hurt me!"
May: "Looks like someone left something in their pocket!"
Lee: "What is it?"
Marie: "Looks like it's whats-his-face!"
May: "Let's call him Dutch.
Lee: [leering] "A little far from home, aren't ya, Dutch?"
May: "Uh-oh, looks like Dutch needs a diaper!"
Jimmy: [worried] "I'm fine, really, I am!
May: "Aw, he's squirming!"
[May pins him up and proceeds to nurse him with a bottle of ketchup. Lee steals Jimmy away.]
Lee: "Dutch ain't a baby." [She throws Jimmy down.] "He's a big grown man." [sinister] "I bet he wants a date."[after a few moments] "WHERE'S MY FLOWERS DUTCH?!?!?" [She giggles as Jimmy lies on the ground, twitching.]
Marie: [picking him up] "Aw, my man doesn't need to give me any flowers." [She drops him by the washing machine.] "He just needs to do my laundry. Knock yourself out, Dutch."
May: [grabbing Jimmy] "Babies don't do laundry!"
Lee: "He's mine!" [She grabs Jimmy's arm.] "Gimme my man."
Marie: [taking Jimmy's other leg] "Laundry boy's all mine, ladies."
Lee: "Back off Marie."
May: "Baby's mine!"
[The three tug at Jimmy, stretching his body.]
Jimmy: "I'm getting stretch marks!" [Jimmy's pants split, revealing his teddy bear underwear.] "Stop! I just wanted to see Ed, Edd n Eddy get clobbered!"
[The Kankers abruptly let go.]
Lee: [menacing] "What did you say about our boyfriends?"
Sarah: "None of your beeswax!"
[The Kankers turn to the fiery-headed newcomer. Sarah sets her basket down and seethes with rage. Tears of gratitude fill Jimmy's eyes.]
Jimmy: "My hero."
[The Kankers jump his hero.]
Jimmy: "Leave her alone!"
Sarah: "Ah ah AAAAHH!!!"
Jimmy: "What'd she ever do to you?" [Marie pins Sarah to the ground.]
Sarah: "Get off me, lemme go!"
[Marie giggles. May grabs Sarah's head and holds it in place.]
Lee: "So none of our beeswax, huh? What a shame."
[Lee opens her mouth and sticks her finger in. When it comes out, it is covered with spit. May giggles in anticipation, and her sisters join in. May then turns Sarah's head on its side, and Lee holds her finger above Sarah. Spittle drips onto Sarah's cheek until Lee jams her finger into Sarah's ear, swishing it around in a Wet Willy.]
Sarah: "Ew that's so gross!"
Jimmy: "A Wet Willy! Oh, the horror!"
Marie: [as Lee works her finger] "So tell us, twerp–"
May: "–what do you and Dutch know about our boyfriends!"
Jimmy: "Stop! Enough!" [The torture stops as Jimmy comes running up.] "The Eds did something really bad! Something big happened because everyone's angry, chasing after them to give them their just desserts! But then those cartoon trains prevented them from doing so, and now they're hot on the trail! [crying] "Ahhaha, I'm such a snitch!"
May: "Did you hear what Dutch said?"
Marie: [angry] "Ain't nobody beating up on my man but me! Besides, those engines alone may not be able to protect him.
Lee: "Grab the two squirts, girls. We're gonna need em."
[Sarah and Jimmy look at each other, worry in their eyes.]
[with our heroes]
[The Eds are walking through a field of sunflowers.]
Penny Ling: This is a lot better. [sniffs one of the flowers]
[Edd is using a strange device. Suddenly, Eddy runs up.]
Eddy: "Double D! Check this–" [He runs into Ed.]
Edd: [staring at Ed] "Oh, um...cute."
Eddy: "No, no, not that! This." [He picks up a sunflower and slams it into Ed's face. Ed starts to chase him.] "Uh oh."
Ed: "I am the mighty Agamushin! I am from outer space!"
Eddy: "Don't bite me, oh Agam whatcha-whatchamacallit!"
Edd: [chuckling] "Agamushin. A forest substrate. How apropos." [He looks through the device. Suddenly, Eddy grabs it.]
Eddy: "What's that stupid thing? Can you see cartoons in it?" [He spins it.] "It's a wheeze-widdler!"
[Ed arrives, and Eddy smiles evilly.]
Ed: "I will eat you now!"
[Eddy uses the device on Ed's face. Soon, there is nothing left of Ed on top of his coat. Eddy looks in, and an arm reaches out from inside the jacket and grabs him. Ed sticks his head out of the armhole.]
Ed: "Gotcha, Eddy!" [Eddy chuckles.]
Emily: Guys, that's not a toy!
Edd: [angrily resetting the device] "Yes, well, it's all fun and games, but merrymaking nearly cost us this sextant!"
[Ed and Eddy abruptly stop.]
Eddy: "You catch that, Ed?" [to Edd] "Ah, the what? I missed that. What's it called?"
Edd: "It's called a sextant." [Ed begins to giggle.] "An astronomical instrument used to–" [He stops.]
Eddy: "Again, sorry, I missed it. What's it called?"
Shining Armor: [catches the joke] EDDY! ED!! Stop it! This is no time to make those kind of jokes!
Edd: Thank you Shining Armor, you won't be giggling when this device triangulates our position and gives us a precise heading to the true direction of the gag factory.
Minka Mark: Maybe I can climb up these flowers and looks to see if I can see anything.
Sir Handel: I wonder where the factory is?
Edd: Well Sir Handel, order for me to calculate our bearings to the gag factory, I'll need–" [He walks into a brick wall.]
Pinkie: Hey, it's the factory.
Applejack: Well, that was quick.
Ed: "Land ho!" [He points to a loading dock for the building: the Lemon Brook Gag Factory.]
Eddy: "This is it!"
Ed: "Gag factory, yay!"
Edd: "Sanctuary at long last!"
Eddy: [tugging on the doors] "HEY BIG BRO! IT'S ME! EDDY!"
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should try the front door.
Eddy: "Good idea! I forgot my big bro hates back doors."
Ed: "Me too! We are so alike!"
Eddy: "Yeah right."
[The group runs to the front doors of the factory.]
[Wilfred is following the trail. He stumbles down a hill as he leads Rolf into the field of cows.]
Rolf: "Hmm. Wilfred, look! What barbarian would allow their secreting masses of flesh to wander the field? Rolf fears a omen has befallen us." [He halts Wilfred and throws down a bucket.] "Guard the provisions. Rolf will interrogate this caboodle of bovine discord."
[Rolf climbs down. As he does so, he knocks a string of sausages loose. They dangle in front of Wilfred, and Wilfred begins to follow them.]
[Rolf has found an extremely fat cow. He milks it. Once finished, he moves out and grabs the bucket, not noticing that Wilfred has walked off. Rolf sips deeply of the milk.]
Rolf: [finishing] "The interrogation is complete, Wilfred. Nothing to fear." [He jumps.] "NAH-SHIZ-LOW!!!" [Lying in front of Rolf is a cow. What scares Rolf is not the cow, but the cow's udder. What scares Rolf is not the udder, but the drawing on it–a mustached Eddy with "I ♥ Bro" on his shirt.]
Rolf: "Has the world lost its mind? The Ed-boys now have desecrated the sack of sustenance! Come, Wilfred! The Ed-boys must not escape!"
[Rolf looks around for Wilfred, but can't find him anywhere.]
Rolf: "Wilfred!" [Wilfred does not appear.] "Wilfred?" [A long shot of the field shows that Wilfred is gone.] "WILFRED!!!"
[with our heroes]
[Ed's head slams into the door to the factory]
Wreck-it Ralph: Here, let me do it! [he punches the door which breaks open, since he is "Wreck-it Ralph"]
Eddy: "Where is he? Do you see him?" [The factory is completely dark and nonoperational.] "Where ya hidin' at, ya big lug?"
Thomas: My, this is a strange place.
Zoe Trent: Ugh, it's so dirty in here!
Fluttershy: I hope the door doesn't close.
[the door closes]
Sunil Nevla: [yelps]
Fluttershy: [yelps] What was that? [backs into the wall and her cowardliness kicks in] AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Willy: Calm down, Fluttershy.
Wreck-It Ralph: The place looks like a dump!
Ed: "Ollie ollie oxen free!" [He runs through the factory.] "Oh look, lots of stuffy stuff."
Dusty Crophopper: This place is really dusty.
Dash: Hey, you just said your own name...
Bash: ...when this place is really dusty itself!
Ferdinand: That's right. (He, Bash and Dash laughed at that joke.)
Dusty Crophopper: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Logging Locos.
Eddy: "Bro! It's me, Eddy! You know–Pipsqueak?" [He looks around.] "Where is everybody? Are you sure this is the gag factory? 'Cause I ain't laughin."
Buttercream Sunday: Well, this place give me the gigglely giggles along with a lot of buttery butterflies in my tummy toms!
Ed: [wearing a pair of gag glasses] "Looks gaggy to me, Eddy."
Uray: Ed, let me see that comic book again. [Ed hands him the comic]
Rheneas: Those wacko specs are an old joke.
Uray: [turning the pages, then he finds the print date] [reading] "1994" That's.. THAT'S NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!
Twilight Sparkle: WHAT?! YOU MEAN THAT THIS FACTORY HAS BEEN DESERTED FOR 15 YEARS?!
Uray: Yep, it's written here in black and white.
Ed: "Revolt of the Rotting Brains! A classic."
Russell Ferguson: Oh great! Now we're stuck in the middle again!
Eddy: "This comic's useless!" [He tosses it away.]
Ed: "Eddy!" [He gallops around, looking for it.] "Oh where, oh where has my rotting brain gone!"
Eddy: "We're hooped!" [He collapses to the dusty floor.] "We'll never find my brother, Double D."
Edd: "Never say "never", Eddy. Perhaps old customer receipts or employee records will unearth a clue to his whereabouts."
Mucker: Let's check in the office.
Hugs: Oh great. While you guys seach the office, what are the rest of us gonna do?
Ed: "Choo choo!" [He pushes a heavy box into Eddy.] "Oh, look! Boxes stuffed with stuff!"
Edd: "Not again! Ed! We'll never make headway if you keep rummaging for–" [A rubber chicken hits him.]
Ed: "Chickens, Double D! Oh I love them to death I do!"
Eddy: "Can't have a party without a rubber chicken, Double D! Big bro said so."
Rainbow Dash: Yeah!
Mako: Hey Pinkie, your shoelace is untied. [Pinkie looks down, then Mako twangs her muzzle] Gotcha! You don't have shoes!
Pinkie Pie: [laughs] Good one, Mako!
Pepper Clark: [laughs] Classic!
Sharky: Poor rookies.
Edd: "Edifying." [He approaches some stairs.] "I'll go examine the factory's filing cabinets and see what I can find." [He starts the climb.]
Mucker: Let me help you out with that.
Eddy: [to Ed] "What else you got in there, lummox?"
[Edd stands at the office door. He tugs on rubber gloves and a surgical mask before entering. Inside, the lights switch on. Outside, Ed and Eddy are still looking for toys. Eddy finds something and hides it behind his back.]
Eddy: "Oh, Ed..." [He holds out the item.] "Gum?"
Ed: "Lucky me!" [He grabs a stick and pulls. The gum then proceeds to give him a severe electrical shock.]
Eddy: [laughing] "What a chump!"
Mako: Hey, pull my hook!
[Rainbow Dash does so and Mako makes a silly sound]
Rainbow Dash: [laughs]
Eddy: [Suddenly, he grabs his stomach.] "My stomach, Ed! I think I'm gonna–BLLAAAH!" [He tosses some fake vomit onto the floor.]
Ed: "Pardon me, miss, but I think you dropped your lunch!" [He throws it back down.]
Eddy: "Hey, quit tossing my cookies!"
Ed: "I upped your chuck, Eddy!"
Dusty Crophopper: Real funny guys.
Vanellope: What a moron.
Eddy: "Looks real, don't it?"
Ed: "No home should be without one, Eddy!"
[They break into raucous laughter as Edd, upstairs, fiddles with the files. He finds the employee file and opens it, only to dump the contents out; they're so old, they have crumbled into dust.]
Edd: [disgusted] "Goodness."
Mucker: It's no use, all the files have disintegrated.
[Edd slams the cabinet shut and is thanked with a cloud of dust to his face. He then walks over to the trashcan and tosses away his mask before turning back to the file cabinet, labeler in hand.]
Edd: [exiting the office] "Have you forgotten why we're here?" [He removes his gloves.] "Eddy?"
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash!
Vinnie Terrio: Pepper!
Edd: "Ed? Hello!" [Nobody replies.] "Oh, for Pete's sake. If this is some kind of foolish joke you're playing, it's not funny."
Gordon: Yeah! Come out here now! Wherever you are!
Stephen: MAKO! [whistles]
[Edd walks around the dark, silent factory floor. Not finding his friends, he becomes scared.]
Edd: "Eddy? Ed?"
[A gear wheel clatters to the floor and rolls out from a gap between two machines. Edd approaches the gap.]
Edd: "Is anyone there?"
Willy: Guys! Are you in there?
[Eddy steps out. He has a hatchet buried in his head.]
Eddy: "RUN DOUBLE D! Save yourself..." [He crumples to the ground.]
Rarity: [screams at the top of her lungs]
Edd: "EDDY! THIS CAN'T BE!" [He stumbles backwards into Ed, who has a fork through his head.]
Ed: [eyes rolled back in his skull] "If looks could kill I'd be dead."
Rainbow Dash: [walks out with an arrow through her head] We've been skured!
Pinkie Pie: [appears but with her left leg gone] We're being hunted!
Mako: [has a harpoon in his dorsal fin, his snout, and his back] Save yourselves!
Pepper Clark: [walks out with a knifein her stomach] Guys... Run for your lives! Before it's too la..... (falls to the ground)
Edd: "AAH! AAH! AAAH!"
Twilight Sparkle: GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Wreck-It Ralph: AAAAAHHH!!!!!!
Zoe Trent: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunil Nevla; AAAAAAH!!!!! AAAAH!!! AAAAAHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! [runs around screaming]
Ed: [laughing and mocking him] "Aah! Aah! Help me! Help me! I'm Double D!"
Mako: [laughs] You should've seen the looks on your faces! [pulls out the harpoon in his fin] It's a fake!
Pinkie Pie: [laughs]
Rainbow Dash: [laughing] We got you guys good! [pulls out the arrow]
[Eddy joins in.]
Eddy: [lifting the hatchet] "It's a gag, see? What'd ya, fall off the back of a truck?"
Pepper Clark: (laughing) We got you guys good! [Shows the knife is actually a rubber one] Really good! [falls onto her back laughing]
Zecora: HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!
Russell Ferguson: Pepper! That was not funny! You had us scared out of our minds!
Sunil Nevla: What are you trying to do, scare us to death?!
Percy: Okay, very funny. Now where's Charlie?
Charlie: [somewhere else] Here I am!
Charlie: Right here!
Shining Armor: We can't see you!
[Then something bumps Applejack]
Applejack: Hey! Who's pushin' me?
Princess Cadance: Come on, Charlie! You got us! Now, where are you?!
Rainbow Dash: Maybe Charlie turned invisible.
Rusty: Turned invisible?
Mr. Great White: Let's just start feeling around for the purple tank engine.
[everyone starts walking around with their arms out, trying to find Charlie]
Vinnie Terrio: Charlie! Charlie!
Minka Mark: (in sing-songy voice) Where are you?
Twilight Sparkle: This is ridiculous, it's like trying to find a needle in a haysta... [hits something] OOF! Hey guys, I think I find him!
Charlie: Yeah! You're on fire!
Rainbow Dash: [pushes a cloud over Charlie and starts raining on him, which washes invisible paint off]
Rarity: [stutters] How did you do that?
Pinkie Pie: The same thing I did to my leg! [brings out invisible paint]
Peter Sam: Invisible paint! That's a good one!
Dusty Crophopper: Yeah! Charlie sure had us fooled!
Puffy: He, let's take this paint with us. It could be useful.
Mako: Now there was a good prank. [grabs the fake harpoon on his snout (Which is actually a rubber dart)] NEE!! [pulls it out, then grabs the one on his back] Hee!! [pulls it out]
Ed: [still giggling] "Aw, we're sorry, Double D. Jelly bean?" [He holds out a can.]
Edd: "Why, thank you, Ed. These should prove quite comforting, and I am a bit peckish." [He tries to open the lid twice, with no success.] "A stubborn lid, this."
Skunky: [realizes what's going on] NO! No, no, don't! Those aren't jelly beans, D! It's a "Snakes in a c...
Edd: [He strains and finally breaks the seal.] "Ah, success."
Kevin: Oh no, it's gonna blow!
Applejack: (to Twilight) I'd take cover if I were you.
Twilight Sparkle: Aahh! (takes cover with Applejack)
(Everybody else quickly take cover)
[The factory bulges and explodes, raining down a tremendous amount of rubber snakes. The snakes fall all over in a rain, landing on a roadway. They fall everywhere, including on Nazz and Kevin. Kevin picks one up.]
Nazz: "Whoa! What's that?"
Kevin: [spotting the factory] "Dorks." [He grins evilly.]
[Back with Rolf]
[Wilfred has come to rest under a tree and is chewing on some sausages. He hears Rolf calling.]
Rolf: "Hallo! Wilfred?"
[Wilfred noses into the bushes and peeps out. He sees Rolf searching for him.]
Rolf: "Rolf is so sad! This is true! Like a little shrinking un-plucked billy goat, Rolf cries and cries and cries!
[Behind Rolf's back is a shoe. Rolf smacks it against his hand. At this, Wilfred's eyes widen, and he charges.]
Rolf: "Stay back, or you will meet Rolf's shoe!" [Wilfred attacks Rolf.] "Mama, assist Rolf! The sow has ruptured! Wilfred!" [Wilfred clamps down on Rolf's stomach.] "Stop! Release Rolf!"
[Wilfred lets go, and Rolf's stack falls on him. Wilfred wriggles out and runs away, squealing. Rolf crawls from the wreckage, a strange device over his head.]
Rolf: Wilfred? [wrestling with it] This thing must come- [it snaps back onto his head]
[With our heroes]
Applejack: [chuckling] Spittin' snakes! Somepony pulled that prank on me last month!
Ferdinand: That's right. (He, Bash and Dash laughed at that.)
[The Eds are walking through another wooded area.]
Ed: [laughing] "Oh boy, Eddy, did you see him go flying? He flew like a canoe!" [pointing to a snake] "This doesn't even look like a jellybean!"
Eddy: "Just keep your eyes peeled, chuckles."
Steamy: I didn't even know that those "snakes in a can" had that many snakes.
Rattlesnake Jake: Now that was a good one.
Skarloey: Dusty, can you fly above and see if you can find Double-D?
Dusty Crophopper: Sure thing, Skarloey. [takes off]
Mako: That was a real hoot! [is picking up some of the snakes]
1206: Where is Double-D?
Socky: He could be anywhere.
Edd: [yelling from far away] "Assistance please!"
Ed: "I think he flew over here, Eddy!"
Ed: [uprooting a tree] "What?"
Dusty Crophopper: [flies back] Hey guys! I find him! Follow me!
Skunky: It sounds like he's in trouble!
Ed: "Double D!" [He tosses the tree over his shoulder and runs towards the sound.]
Eddy: "Hey!" [The tree lands on Eddy.]
Ed: [looking under a bush] "See?"
Eddy: "Why you dirty–"
Ed: "Tag! You're it!"
Eddy: "You're dead!"
[Eddy chases Ed off a cliff.]
Ed: "Look, I'm Double D! I'm flying!"
[They land next to a river.]
Dazzlen: Double-D! Where are you?!
Apple Bloom: [looks up] Hey, there he is!
Stephen: Yeah, Apple Bloom, where?
Apple Bloom: Up there! On the waterfall!
Edd: "Get me down from here!"
[Edd is hanging from a ledge on top of a waterfall by his hat.]
Ed: "Hi Double D!"
Eddy: "Hey Sockhead, can you see my bro's place from up there?"
Edd: [angry] "NO!!!! Now get me down!"
Eddy: "You heard him, lumpy."
Edd: "Hurry please, I'm afraid I can't hold on for much longer gentlemen!"
Applejack: How are we gonna git' him down?
Marshall P.F.: Maybe I can whip lasso him. [he takes out his whip but finds it's too short] It's too short!
Zecora: It's too small, it won't be able to reach a cliff top that tall.
Victor: How do we get him down?
Dusty Crophopper: Maybe I can fly above him and he can grab my landing gear.
Dusten: No, Dusty, you could crash into the waterfall.
Zip: We need to think of a way to get him down.
Rheneas: I think Uray's already found a way.
[our heroes see Uray climbing the ciff]
Twilight Sparkle: Steady!
Uray: Hang on Double-D, [grunts] I'll get you down!
Percy: Come on!
Toby: Hurry up!
Wreck-It Ralph: Quick!
Uray: [brings his magnet crane out to Double-D which he grabs on. But then Ed throws Eddy up at them. [He scores a direct hit. Then Uray feels his grip lose] Oh no. (screams while he falls)
Thomas: Watch out!
[They fall into the water at the waterfall's base. When they hit, all the water is splashed upwards, and a bunch of buried treasure is revealed. The water comes down, soaking everything in the vicinity.]
Ed: [drenched and shivering] "Cold!"
[Edd and Eddy crawl out of the water. Eddy drags Edd onto dry land with his upper lip, which has gotten wedged in Edd's gap.]
Ed: [impressed] "Fancy trick, Eddy! Where'd you learn to do that?"
Edd: "How mortifying!"
Eddy: "My big bro showed me!"
Ed: "Do tell!"
Eddy: "Yep, my bro's a whiz at harpooning whales!"
Edd: [upset] "He is? Your brother is a whaler?"
Eddy: "My mom's got fifty pounds of blubber in the freezer as we speak!"
Edd: "You mean all this time–"
Ed: "That's more blubber than my mom's got!"
Eddy: "And he's got a peg leg too! But that's what you get for wrestling walruses."
Uray: [comes out of the water] Oh really now?
Edd: "Eddy! If your brother is a whaler, then he must reside by the sea!"
Ed: "How do we find it, Double D?"
Edd: "It's quite simple, Ed. You see, this stream is a veritable highway that will lead us straight to it. We merely need to float upon the current, and it will carry us to its opening and Eddy's brother's retreat."
Sharky: Perfect! Let's start building a boat.
Evan: [takes out an ax] Way ahead of ya.