Here's how the story of the Dragon Emperor goes in Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

Potty: Patchy, Patchy, the kids are here. [flushes the toilet]

Patchy: WAH!!! [opens the curtain in panic] Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time?[looks at the camera] Oh, hello! Dahh! [covers himself with the curtain] What are you all doing here?

Potty: They're here to see Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Brawk!

Patchy: But I haven't got Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, because I... well, I lost it! [starts to cry]

Children: [off-screen] No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!

Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about the Eds!

Voice: Remembering, the Eds.

[A music video plays with the Eds]

Audience: [clapping]

Patchy: I can't belive I lost "Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor". [screws in his peg leg] I never lose anything.

Potty: What about your leg?

Patchy: Well, yeah, but...

Potty: And your eye.

Patchy: Well, the eye, I...

Potty: And your hand.

Patchy: And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! [shoos Potty away] Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where "Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" is. [a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits Potty; he mutters gibberish and then falls over]

Potty: What is it? Brawk!

Patchy: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to "Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"!

Potty: It's a dream come true!

Patchy: [giggles] We gotta go find it, Potty! [shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps] Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. [grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg] Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! [runs down the steps, along with Potty]

Potty: Brawk!

Patchy:  Take seven walks to Mrs. Dawson's house.

[an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting] Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. [walks past the woman's house]

Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies?

Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. [continues walking]

Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold.

Patchy: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. [looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree] Half a league to the forked tree. [looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it] Oh! [stands somewhere else, looking at the map] Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! [lowers the map and sees a playground full of children] Merciful Neptune. Only for the Eds. Only for the Eds!!![runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse] AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! [goes up and down on a see-saw] Whoa!!! Whoa! [slides down a slide with his hands up] YAHHHHH!!! [hits the ground] Ow! [gets spun around on a merry-go-round] AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back] Ahh... Ahh... Ah! [inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him] AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [gets pushed on the swing by a little girl] AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! [the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand] We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this movie! [laughs] Dig it, get it?[laughs some more]

Potty: [covered in sand] You stink!

Patchy: And I just got out of the shower. [laughs again; sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something] Hey Potty, I think I hit something. [camera zooms out; a large treasure chest sits in the sand] Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.

Potty: Brawk!

Patchy: [opens the chest; a golden glow shines from it] This is it! [a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape; Patchy takes it; the man cups his hands] I don't know what it means either. [slams the top of the chest on the man] But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. [runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again; runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up] Yeah!!! Popcorn. [slams a bag of popcorn down on the table] Soda. [puts a cup of soda on the table] Pickled garlic! [puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things; runs and sits down] Potty, hit the remote!

Potty: [drops an egg that hits the remote] Brawk! [the VCR turns on]

Patchy: [grabs the popcorn] This is gonna be great! [a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen] I can't believe it. More Ed, Edd, n Eddy! [starts eating the popcorn; the countdown makes it's way down to five] This so exciting! [laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere; the countdown ends] Here it comes!

Potty: Brawk! Pipe down!

[the movie begins]

[But it turns out to be a concessions ad, with a walking popcorn box, hot dog, popsicle, and soda]

It's a groovy time for a movie time
So grab your gal, and grab a seat
But don't forget to get somethin' to eat
Delicious meat, a nutritious meat
You can't beat my meat for a special treat!
Sucking on me is really neat!
Don't be a jerk
And don't be a fool
Be a good neighbor and follow these rules
What are these rules?
Remember to keep your shoes on at all times
Don't pull your [bleeps] out unless you really need to
Indecent exposure is a Class 2 felony.

[Then a gumdrop walk up to the hot dog and headbutts him and starts screaming in the microphone]

Do not nudge, kick, or jiggle the seat in front of you!
I am sitting there, I am everywhere at once,
and I will cut you up!
Do not explain the plot!
If you don't understand, then you should not be here!
Your money is now our money, and we will...
...spend it on [bleeps]!
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly!
Be considerate to others, or I will [bleeps]!
Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this!
Take the seed outside,
Leave it in the streets!
Run over it after the show!
If I see you videotaping this movie,
This is a copyrighted movie for Stuingtion and Hiatt Grey Pictures
If I find you've sold it on Ebay, I will break into your house and tear your wife in half!

[Soon they do a guitar solo and stop and explosions explode behind them]

["ends; a beeping noise comes from the TV; Patchy stares blankly for a moment]

Patchy: That's it? That's "Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"? THAT WAS JUST A CHEAP CONCESSIONS AD!!!!

Potty: What a rip!

Patchy: Grrrrr... [his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears] ED, EDD, N EDDY BETRAYED US!!!!!' [cries]Why did I love this stuff in the first place?! I'm gonna get rid of all my Ed, Edd, n Eddy stuff! All of it! All of it! [rips off his pants] All of it! [runs to the door] I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! [runs out the door crying]

Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead!

Announcer: [on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words" Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor movie"] And now, for the real "Ed, Edd, n Eddy vs. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"!

Potty: Patchy, come back! There's more!

Patchy: Really? [he reverses] Hooray! Let's watch.

[The movie begins with the Universal logo]