Here's the transcript of Weekenders Adventures of Cowman: The Uddered Avenger.


(The movie opens up to a dark night in the city and two bank robbers are coming down the alley)

  • Robber 1: I told you stealing these empty cash bag with dollar signs would be a sinch.
  • Robber 2: Yeah. Now, let's get back to the hideout and stuff them with money. (suddenly he was tied up and mysteriously disappeared)
  • Robber 1: Lenny? Lenny? You're quieter than usual. Where'd you go?

(Suddenly a signal with a cow with a mask on appears on the wall)

  • ???: I'm afraid your friend's a little "tied up".
  • Robber 1: That light, those horrible puns. It could only mean one thing.
  • Otis: (as Cowman) That's right punk. It's Cowman.
  • Pip: (as Ratboy) And Ratboy.

(The robber hits Otis with a trash can lid)

  • Otis: Garbage can lids, my only weakness. (hit with a tin can) Tin can, my only other weakness. (hit with a loaf of bread) Wheat bread, yet another of my weaknesses.
  • Pip: Cowman, he's getting away. (points to the robber climbing up the roof)
  • Otis: Not for long, Rat of Rats. Cowsuckers, suckinate! (started to climb the walls)
  • Woman: (gasps) You're Cowman.
  • Otis: Please return to your widescreen TV. Wow, that is a widescreen. Look at that picture. It's actually like I'm at the game.
  • Pip: Focus.
  • Otis: Yeah, you can focus...
  • Pip: Focus on the crime!
  • Otis: Oh right, crime.
  • Woman: Go get 'em, Cowman. (continued climbing)
  • Pip: And Ratboy!
  • Woman: Whatever.

(As they made it to the roof, the robber knocks the board between the two buildings. Otis then uses his boots springs to jump across, but he fell then jumps back up but lands in the roof)

  • Otis: Ow, ow, ow. Oh, that is very painful.
  • Robber 1: Looks like the tables have turn, Cowman. (pulls out a taser)
  • Pip: (with a can tied to his back) Jetpack, activate. (punches the robber and knocks away the taser)
  • Otis: Sayonara, dirtbag. (punches the robber all the way to the clock) Hehe. Looks like he'll be doing some time.
  • Pip: Hmmm, I don't get it.
  • Otis: Cause its a big clock. You know, he'll be doing time meaning in prison.
  • Pip: I'm not following.
  • Otis: It's a pretty common phr-- forget it. Cowman--
  • Pip: And Ratboy--
  • Both: AWAY!!! (swings off into the night and some people take pictures)(Credits plays)

At the Barnyard/ Guarding the Kernel

(At the Barnyard, Otis tells everyone about his and Pip stopping crime)

  • Otis: So then I said, "Looks like he'll be doing some time."
  • Pig: I don't get it.
  • Pip: That's what I said.

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