This is the transcript for Weekenders Adventures of Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths.
Potty: Patchy, Patchy, the kids are here. [flushes the toilet]
Patchy: WAH!!! [opens the curtain in panic] Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time?[looks at the camera] Oh, hello! Dahh! [covers himself with the curtain] What are you all doing here?
Potty: They're here to see the Weekenders Adventures movie. Brawk!
Patchy: But I haven't got the Weekenders Adventures movie, because I... well, I lost it! [starts to cry]
Children: [off-screen] No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!
Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about The Weekenders.
Voice: Remembering, The Weekenders.
[A theme song of "The Weekenders" playing]
Patchy: I don't believe I lost the Weekenders Adventures movie. [screws in his peg leg] I never lose anything.
Potty: What about your leg?
Patchy: Well, yeah, but...
Potty: And your eye.
Patchy: Well, the eye, I...
Potty: And your hand.
Patchy: And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! [shoos Potty away] Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where the Weekenders Adventures movie is. [a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits Potty; he mutters gibberish and then falls over]
Potty: What is it? Brawk!
Patchy: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to the Weekenders Adventures movie I'd lost!
Potty: It's a dream come true!
Patchy: [giggles] We gotta go find it, Potty! [shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps] Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. [grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions like a normal leg] Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! [runs down the steps, along with Potty]
Patchy: Take seven walks to Mrs. Dawson's house.
[an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting] Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. [walks past the woman's house]
Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies?
Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. [continues walking]
Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold.
Patchy: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. [looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree] Half a league to the forked tree. [looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it] Oh! [stands somewhere else, looking at the map] Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! [lowers the map and sees a playground full of children] Merciful Neptune. Only for Tino. Only for Tino!!![runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse] AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! [goes up and down on a see-saw] Whoa!!! Whoa! [slides down a slide with his hands up] YAHHHHH!!! [hits the ground] Ow! [gets spun around on a merry-go-round] AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back] Ahh... Ahh... Ah! [inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him] AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [gets pushed on the swing by a little girl] AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! [the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand] We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this movie! [laughs] Dig it, get it?[laughs some more]
Potty: [covered in sand] You stink!
Patchy: And I just got out of the shower. [laughs again; sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something] Hey Potty, I think I hit something. [camera zooms out; a large treasure chest sits in the sand] Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.
Patchy: [opens the chest; a golden glow shines from it] This is it! [a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape; Patchy takes it; the man cups his hands] I don't know what it means either. [slams the top of the chest on the man] But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. [runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again; runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up] Yeah!!! Popcorn. [slams a bag of popcorn down on the table] Soda. [puts a cup of soda on the table] Pickled garlic! [puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things; runs and sits down] Potty, hit the remote!
Potty: [drops an egg that hits the remote] Brawk! [the VCR turns on]
Patchy: [grabs the popcorn] This is gonna be great! [a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen] I can't believe it. More Weekenders! [starts eating the popcorn; the countdown makes it's way down to five] This so exciting! [laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere; the countdown ends] Here it comes!
Potty: Brawk! Pipe down!
[the movie begins]
["Walk Cycles" begins on the TV screen; SpongeBob is walking down the road while techno music plays in the background; his body squishes up, then returns to normal; then, his body extends and his arms flail around; he returns to normal, then squishes up three times, shrinking smaller and smaller, in synchronization with the music; extends his body again; once again, squishes up smaller and smaller in synchronization with the music; extends his body again; starts running frantically while sweating and looking left to right; extends his body, this time with his tongue sticking out and flailing around; begins frantically running again; his limbs and body separate and his eyes pop out of his head; begins walking normally again; "Walk Cycles" ends; a beeping noise comes from the TV; Patchy stares blankly for a moment]
Patchy: That's it? That's the Weekenders Adventures Movie? THAT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF CHEAP WALK CYCLES!!!
Potty: What a rip!
Patchy: Grrrrr... [his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears] TINO BETRYAED US!' [cries] Why did I love this stuff in the first place?! I'm gonna get rid of all my Weekenders stuff! All of it! All of it! [rips off his pants] All of it! [runs to the door] I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! [runs out the door crying]
Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead!
Announcer: [on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words "Weekenders Adventures movie"] And now, for the real "Weekenders Adventures movie"!
Potty: Patchy, come back! There's more!
Patchy: Really? [he reverses] Hooray! Let's watch.
The Movie Begins
(The scenes starts with the lock with a someone disabled the security systems, the door opens that turns out to be Lex Luthor and The Jester, running toward the door as Lex disables the security lasers systems)
Good Lex Luther: No time for niceties. (His hands smashes through the door and tries to open it)
The Jester: Way to be stealthy, Luther.
Good Lex Luther: The moment I shut down the grid, it sent a silent alarm. They're already on their way here.
(Then he opens the doors and they went inside as the Jester jumps in)
The Jester: Dips!
(He sprayed the acid and Lex get the trigger)
The Jester: The quantum trigger.
Good Lex Luther: Now we have a chance.
(Then, the alarm cut off)
The Jester: Run.
(They run as the doors closes, and Lex get the last door shut)
Good Lex Luther: That's not going to slow them down for long.
(He goes down as the Jester sees the sword of fire draws)
The Jester: That's not gonna slow them down at all.
(He goes down, as the two villains pass their hiding place, but as Lex gets out, the Jester get left behind.)
Good Lex Luther: What are you waiting for? Hurry.
(They hear an explosion)
The Jester: It's time to get serious, Lex.
Johnny Quick: No. We can make it together. We can do this.
The Jester: Get your shiny bald head out of here. It's hurting my eyes.
(He closes the door, as he was scared then get beat up by J'edd J'arkus and Angelique)
The Jester: What can I say?
(Then, Angelique stabs the Jester)
The Jester: Okay, okay. I'm down to my Last Joke, anyway. But this one will kill you.
(He press the button)
(Cut to Lex getting out of the sewer, then he sees the view of the explosion)
Good Lex Luther:It won't be in vain, old friend.
(The villains appears walking toward him)
Ultraman: You think you can hide from my ultra-vision?
The Grand Duke of Owls: hhhh I know it's um... frightfully impolite to ah... eavesdrop like this (laughs) Now you must have to surrender, Lex.
Hun: There's nowhere to go. Now isn't that right?
Attila: Nothing I can catch, given the right gear.
Johnny Quick: You're gonna pay for what you've done, mate. That's a promise.
Kyoko Kudo: Yeah, if you give up easily, we'll go easy on you, Mr. Luthor.
Kurumi Tokisaki: So are you gonna surrender, Luthor?
Good Lex Luther: I've gotta a promise of my own. I'm going to finish the job the Jester started. But not just yet.
Now where has Lex Luthor gone to now, Mr. Facilier.
Dr. Facilier: To a different Earth, which is the original Earth.
Adagio Dazzle: Let's go to Bowser and tell him the news.
The Grand Duke of Owls: Good idea. Maybe we can tell him the news.
(Then the opening credits role)
(Then we see Superman carrying a object to the space base, as the members of the Justice League helps build the base)
(Then cut to Batman, Martian Manhunter, and Wonder Woman building a transporting device)
Ash Ketchum: Hey it's the Justice League.
Tino Tonitini: Sure wish Max and the others were here.
Lincoln: Yeah, Max, Rex, and Zoe are good guys, but I don't like, Dr. Z, his grandkids, Ed, Ursula, and Zander, they're a bad influence.
Lor McQuarrie: Hey, they'd reformed.
Carver Descartes: Didn't you guys hear what they said about this. Seth is using and then betrays them remember?
Lincoln: Oh, right.
Flash: It would be alot faster if I were with you guys.
Wonder Woman: How much does this cost in, Bruce?
Batman: I don't like to tink about it.
The Justice League meets the Good Lex Luthor
Justice League vs The Crime Syndicate
Batman vs Superwoman
(Then we cut to Superwoman's palace, and Batman is dodging Superwoman's attacks)
Superwoman: Nice moves you remind me of my boyfriend. (grabs a column and smashes it on Batman, and now he tries to get out) Whatever will I do with you? I can use this to send you away.
Heroes vs. Villains/Owlman, Attila and Hun escapes to Earth Prime
Batman: Maybe you should surrender, we taken down dozens of you, but now the odds ste 6 to 3.
Kyoko Kudo: Count again, Batbrain.
Bowser: Heroes, we've got to stop running into each other like this.
Tino Tonitini: Prepare to be defeated Villains.
Ash Ketchum: Yeah, it's time for you losers to be finished!
Attila: We'll be finished when we rule the world and you twerps are destroyed! Skarmory, use steel wing!
(Attila's Skarmory activates the attack but the heroes dodge)
Lincoln: It's time we bring you down!
Lynn: Yeah! Let's do this!
Aya Kawaski: We don't think so, when the Earths are like destroyed, Bowser will rule over the only Earth and the universe.
Tino Tonitini: Not gonna happen! (Touches his Keystone) Charizard! It's time to Mega-Evolve!
(Then Charizard Mega-Evolve into Mega Charizard X)
Dr. Facilier: Looks like we having a battle, aren't we?
Bowser: I think so, Facilier.
Tino Tonitini: What do you guys think? Mega Charizard is going to take you down!
Attila: Hahoho! You got jokes huh? Now let's see how funny you guys are after we pash your faces in! Steel Wing!
(Skarmory flies down activating the attack but Mega Charizard X dodges)
Sunset Shimmer: I guess that takes care of the Dazzlings.
Tino: Yep. They are off my hair.
Dr. Facilier: But not me!
(He trap Tino)
Sunset Shimmer: TINO!!!
Dr. Facilier: Now you will spend the rest of you're lives being Bowser's prisoners forever.
Sunset Shimmer: I got some news Shadow man! Leave two earths alone!
Dr. Facilier: (Gasp)
(Sunset Shimmer grabs the charm)
Sunset Shimmer: AND LEAVE MY MAN ALONE!!!!!
(And she smashes it to pieces)
Dr. Facilier: No! No! GAH!! How am I ever gonna pay back my dept! (Gasp) Friends!
Spirits: ARE YOU READY?!!
Dr. Facilier: No! I'm not ready at all! In fact I got lots of more plans!
Spirits: ARE YOU READY?!!
Dr. Facilier: This is just a...mindless setback and a major operation...AAA!!!...Once I look for another spell we'll be back in business! I still got that stupid kid locked away...I just need a little more time. (Gasps) No! Don't please no! (Gets grabbed away) GAH!!! Just a little more time! I'd promise I'll pay yawl back I promise!
(He screams as the spirit closes his mouth as A gravestone of Dr. Facilier appears)
Sunset Shimmer: That will teach him. A very painful lesson! Are you okay, Tino?
Tino Tonitini: Yes. Thank you Sunset Shimmer.
Making a Portal to Earth Prime
Ultraman: What just happened?!
Good Lex Luthor
Johnny: I don't like the sound of that.
Batman, Tino, and Ash vs Owlman, Attila, and Hun
(The the portal appeared and Batman, Tino, Tino's Charizard and Ash appeared into Earth Prime)
Owlman: Welcome to Earth Prime. Before there was thought, there was this place. One Earth. With a single history. But with the coming of man came the illusion of free-will. And with that illusion came chaos.
Tino Tonitini: Surrender right now!
Ash Ketchum: Or else, you're going to be defeated by us!
Owlman: I'm afraid I can't do that, Ash. With every choose we make, we literately create a world. History branches in two: creating one Earth: Where we made the choose, and the second when we didn't. That's the secret of the universe you know. Billion of people making billions chooses, creating infinate Earths. Some so similar to each other even its spend the lifetime searching for any distinction. Others so radgetly different. They defy comprahation.
Batman: And all of the branches originate here.
Owlman: Every version of reality balances precariously on this singular Earth. It seems so different from the Earths we know. I can't imagine what series of decisions led to this world hurtling out of its orbit. But I know this: The source of the cataclysm was the same as it always is. Man.
Batman: You can't be sure of that. Anything-
Owlman: You should know better. Man is a cancer. And I've chosen to cut out the disease.
Batman: You're talking about killing-
Owlman: Everyone who would ever lived. Whoever will live. I choose to make the only possible real choice.
Batman: You're insane.
Owlman: Does it really matter?There are alternate versions of methat you would find quite charming.
Attila: So are you twerps ready to say good bye to you're worlds?
Hun: Or you want to continue fighting for two worlds?
Tino Tonitini: The answer is fight for two worlds, Team Rocket! Wait until my Charizard burns two of your Steel Type Pokemon into a Steel Type extra crispy. Charizard, use flamethrower!
(Mega Charizard X fires a flamethrower attack but Skarmory dodge it)
Attila: If that's what you wished! Steel Wing!
(Skarmory activates the attack to hit the two heroes but Mega Charizard X steps in and holds it's wings)
Tino Tonitini: Now Ash!
Ash Ketchum: Right! Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!
(Pikachu unleashed the Thunderbolt attack and zaps Skarmory)
Ash Ketchum: Yes!
Attila: Hey, little twerps! But on your raincoats and you're collision too! (He throws his Pokeball to summon his Muk) Okay, Muk, Sludge bomb!
(Muk fires Sludge Bomb and hits Pikachu)
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu!
Tino Tonitini: That's it! I have had it! Use Blast Burn and defeat Skarmory, Muk and Steelix!
(Mega Charizard X activate Blast Burn and defeated Attila's Skarmory and Muk and Hun's Steelix)
Owlman: No more debate, I'm going to kill you now. Then, everyone else.
Batman: There is a difference between you and me (he spinjumps behind Owlman and kicks him and grapple hooks his arm) We both looked into the abyss. (grabs the teleporting gun) But when it looked back at us, you blinked. (Then he uses it and throw towar Owlman and the bomb aiming at it, as Owlman broke free but he and the bomb had teleported away from Earth Prime)
Attila: How's that blasted Batman doing that?!
Hun: This is impossible, its the ultimate system there's no way it can be defeated!
Attila: I'm afraid to say it Hun, but the ultimate power has messed with the ultimate hero.
Hun: Becoming a legend will have to wait for another day.
Attila: Let's beat ut before that thing blows.
(They'd took off in their copter)
Ash Ketchum: And don't come back!
(Mega Charizard X turns back to normal Charizard and flies down to Tino)
Tino Tonitini: (Pets his Charizard) Great job, Charizard.
The Crime Syndicate are arrested
(Back at the Syndicate's moon base, Batman, Tino, his Charizard, Ash, and Pikachu)
Wonder Woman: Are you allright?
Sunset Shimmer: Are you okay, Tino?
Tino Tonitini: I'm fine.
Ash Ketchum: We just took care of Owlman, Attila and Hun, thats all.
Batman: Johnny, we're back. Stop vibrating. Stop!
Flash: Oh Gosh.
Johnny Quick: Did we saved the world?
Batman: We did.
Johnny Quick: And all that rubbish about me being faster than Flash. You knew this would gonna happen.
Johnny Quick: Good one, mate.
Ultraman: That's real sad, isn't it? Now get your butts off my moon.
Good Lex Luthor: What's wrong with you? We almost lost everything!
Ultraman: That was then, now you're bunch of wanna-be cops trying to take me in.
Superman: Going to take you in.
Ultraman: Two things: You ain't got the authority, and you ain't nearly tough enough.
Ending/With Patchy the Pirate
President Slade: There's no way to thank you. You've given us back our world.
Batman: Glad you agree.
(They see Aquaman and the other new members of the Justice League)
Lincoln: Wow. New members. This should be awesome.
(Then they meet the new members as it cuts to the base, so as the movie ends)
[back to Patchy]
Patchy: Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?
Potty: Let's watch it again.
Patchy: [chuckles] That's a great idea, Potty. [looks on the table] Where's the remote? [continues searching] Where's the remote? [stands up] Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... [a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head] Eh... [falls to the floor]
Patchy: [stands back up and drops the brick on his foot; he is now holding his remote] My remote! [goes to the window] Thanks, stranger!
Mrs. Johnson: [outside, in a wheelchair] Don't mention it, Patchy! [flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind]
Patchy: Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? [presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV] No, that's not it. [presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV] Doh! Wrong again. [keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over]
Potty: Brawk! Let me do it!
Patchy: No, get away! [the lights go out] That's the light switch! [the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a mariachi band pops up from behind the couch]
Potty: Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!
Patchy: Grrrrr... I hate technology!!!
Patchy: [continues pressing buttons on the remote] Rewind... darn you! [suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape]
Potty: Brawk! Failure ahoy!
Patchy: No! [tries to stop the tape from spewing out] Dah! DAH! Oh, blasted infernal machine! [gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling] Oh no! I've ruined "Weekenders Adventures of Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths"! Now it's lost forever!
Potty: Brawk! Lost forever!
Narrator: Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess "Weekenders Adventures of Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths" will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, Tino Tonitini will live on in our hearts and in our minds. Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.