Here is the transcript of Tino's Adventures of The Emperor's New Groove
(Long ago, somewhere deep in the jungle...)
(At the jungle, we see a llama all alone in the rain, when thunder was heard, and he got scared)
- Kuzco: (narrating) Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you'll never believe this, but that llama you're looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor. A rich, powerful ball of charisma. Oh, yeah! This is his story. Actually, my story. That's right. I'm that llama. The name is Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. I was the world's nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason. Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what. You go back a ways before I was a llama and this'll all make sense. [Film rewinds to show Kuzco as a baby playing with his toys] Okay. See, now that's a little too far back. Oh, look at me! That's me as a baby! [The stuffed animal's head pops off when Baby Kuzco squeezes it. Baby Kuzco cries, but coos and giggles when more stuffed animals are given to him. Kuzco, narrating offscreen, clears his throat] Okay. Let's move ahead.
(Then we see Kuzco getting ready for the groove, as the title "Tino's Adventures of The Emperor's New Groove" appears, as the crown flies up in the air and back down to the top of Kuzco's head, and he spins around to the audience)
- Kuzco: Oh yeah.
(As he walk, then the wall is made into a hall way to his throne, then his chairman carries him to the top and gets him on his throne, doing all the responibilites and tires out and lays down)
- Kuzco: (narrating) Okay. This is the real me. [Scene cuts to him as a llama] Not this. [Cuts back to him as a human, lounging on his throne] This. [Back to Llama Kuzco] Not this. Winner. Loser! Okay. See this palace? Everybody in it is at my command. Check this out. [Snaps his fingers] Butler! [Snaps his fingers again] Chef! [Camera zooms out showing a giant cake, Kuzco snaps his fingers a third time] Theme song guy.
(Then the theme song guys pops out of the cake and sing his theme song, as Emperor Kuzco starts dancing until he bumps into an old man)
- Kuzco: DOW! You threw off my groove!
- Guard: I'm sorry but you kinda thrown off the Emperor's groove.
(The guard grabs his shirt and throw him out the window)
- Old man: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
- Kuzco: (narrating) Not those people, they're cool, and don't actually ruin my life.
- Sunset Shimmer: I can't believe we are going to Peru.
- Tino: I know.
- Kuzco: (narrating) Oh, that's Tino. He's my descendant. He says that I'm his ancestor from this time. And how can I forget, that's his girl friend, Sunset Shimmer. And also his friends, Lor, Carver, and Tish.
- Vinnie Terrio: You bet it is.
- Kuzco: (narrating) Oh and those are his friends, The Human versions of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, Blythe Baxter, Penny Ling, Zoe Trent, Pepper Clark, Minka Mark, Sunil Nevla, Vinnie Terrio, Russell Ferguson, The DigiDestined and their Digimon, Oopsy, Cheer, Grumpy, Funshine, and Share.
- Shido: Hey, guys.
- Lor: Hey you guys, just in time.
- Kuzco: (narrating) Oh, I forget, that's Shido Itsuka, the boy who has the power to seal what's-a-ma-callit's powers with a single kiss. And that's the rest of the Tino's team. Kotori, Mana, Tohka, Yoshino and the puppet Yoshinon, Reine, Origami, Zoey Hanson, Doraemon, Noby, Sue, Big G, and whatever-his-name-is.
- Sneech: That's Sneech!
- Tish: Hello there.
- Tai Kamiya: Looking forward to this guys?
- Big G: You bet I am. I mean like, we're in Peru.
- Sue: Hey guys, who's that?
(They see a peasant, coming up the stairs)
- Kuzco: (narrating) This is Pacha.
- Pacha: Excuse me, uh, I'm here to see Emperor Kuzco. You see I've got this summon and-
- Guard: Inside, up the stairs and to the left. Just follow the signs.
- Pacha: Oh, great. Thanks a lot.
(He follows the signs to see the Emperor)
- Kuzco: (narrating) Oh and don't be fooled by that folksy peasant look.